


Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad

by Anonymous



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Future Fic, Group chat, M/M, a gratuitous amount of hatoful boyfriend references, everyone is in high school, no one is straight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-05-24 19:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Princess Tutuhas changed the chat name toSawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squadkeyblade master:whatPrincess Tutu:I feel like this is more appropriatecake enthusiast:YES!!!!keyblade master:no???????leviOsa:I agree with this namesqualo version 2.0:YEETkeyblade master:takeshi no(The adventures of the Vongola Tenth Generation, a few years later and as told through text)





	1. tsuna's constant suffering

**Author's Note:**

> keyblade master - Tsuna  
> squalo version 2.0 - Yamamoto  
> leviOsa - Gokudera  
> bird set free by sia - Hibari  
> thing 1 - Mukuro  
> thing 2 - Chrome  
> OKOSAN - Ryohei  
> the power of god and anime - Lambo  
> Princess Tutu - Kyoko  
> zookeeper - Hana  
> cake enthusiast - Haru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just an experiment and something to pass the time. And also something for me to write when I have writers block. Also, I just really love group chat fics but I've only ever read, like, one for KHR. The format is (clearly) a lot different from what I usually write but if I somehow manage to come up with Actual Plot, then I'll be switching between normal writing and chat writing.
> 
> Everyone's in high school (except Lambo)! And none of them are straight! And that's pretty much all you need to know that won't be addressed later.

**> >evil baby support group<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** you know tsuna, sora technically never became a keyblade master

 **keyblade master:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK TAKESHI

 **squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHA

 **squalo version 2.0:** sorry tsuna its true!

 **OKOSAN:** TSUNA IT HAS BEEN THREE EXTREME MONTHS

 **OKOSAN:** I THINK THIS ARGUMENT SHOULD COME TO A STOP

 **keyblade master:** onii-san please turn off your caps lock

 **OKOSAN:** BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS HOW EXTREME EVERYTHING IS

 **leviOsa:** Not like that

 **OKOSAN:** YOU’RE JUST BORING OCTOPUS HEAD

 **leviOsa:** WHAT WAS THAT

 **keyblade master:** how are you guys already fighting????

 **squalo version 2.0:** technically you started shouting first

 **keyblade master:** hm?? did someone say something? because all i heard was a LIAR

 **leviOsa:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **squalo version 2.0:** awwww cmon tsuna!!

 **keyblade master:** hayato please tell takeshi that i don’t wish to speak to him

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuuunnnnaaaaaaaaaa

 **leviOsa:** Oi, baseball freak

 **leviOsa:** The Tenth doesn’t want to talk to you

 **squalo version 2.0:** T_T betrayed…. by my own best friend…….

 **keyblade master:** best friend??? i don’t remember betraying hayato

 **leviOsa:** TENTH

 **squalo version 2.0:** IVE ALREADY BEEN REPLACED

 **bird set free by sia:** Herbivores should pay attention in class.

 **keyblade master:** oh my god it’s a cryptid

 **squalo version 2.0:** :o a cryptkid

 **OKOSAN:** AN EXTREME CRYPTID HAS APPEARED

 **keyblade master:** onii-san was that yOU I JUST HEARD YELLING ABOUT CRYPTIDS????

 **OKOSAN:** YES

 **leviOsa:** Why are we calling Hibari a cryptid?

 **keyblade master:** oh hayato

 **leviOsa:** Why is Hibari even IN THIS CHAT?

 **squalo version 2.0:** it’s a chat for all of us hayato!! that includes hibari!

 **leviOsa:** Don’t call me that

 **keyblade master:** we even have lambo in here

 **leviOsa:** Who gave the cow a phone anyway

 **leviOsa:** He’s like nine

 **keyblade master:** mama thought it was very important that he’s able to contact someone at all times

 **OKOSAN:** I EXTREMELY HAVE DETENTION NOW

 **keyblade master:** it’s because you started screaming loud enough that we could hear you from our classroom

 **OKOSAN:** YES IT IS

 **leviOsa:** Why are you like this

 **OKOSAN:** YOU ARE ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS TODAY HAYATO

 **leviOsa:** WHO SAID YOU COULD CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME

 **squalo version 2.0:** wow he really is asking a lot of questions today

 **bird set free by sia:** HERBIVORES

 **keyblade master:** JUST MUTE YOUR PHONE KYOYA

 **squalo version 2.0:** im surprised he hasnt changed his username yet

 **keyblade master:** i don’t think he uses his phone enough to care

 

**Princess Tutu >> keyblade master**

**Princess Tutu:** It looks like you’re all having a lot of fun, huh?

**keyblade master:**

**keyblade master:** none of us are being subtle, are we…

 **Princess Tutu:** I don’t think our teacher has noticed yet!

 **Princess Tutu:** And I knew there was probably a reason for Onii-chan’s yelling

 **keyblade master:** yeah he has detention now

 **Princess Tutu:** ^^; I thought that would be the case

 **Princess Tutu:** Hey we should all have a group chat together!

 **keyblade master:** ?

 **Princess Tutu:** You know, not just with you and your Guardians, but all of us!

 **Princess Tutu:** Me, Hana, and Haru too!

 **keyblade master:** that sounds terrifying

 **Princess Tutu:** It’ll be fun!

 **keyblade master:** my constant suffering, expanded

 **keyblade master:** that should be my new user but i’m really fond of being a keyblade master

 

**zookeeper >> Princess Tutu**

**zookeeper:** Stop texting Sawada and pay attention

 **Princess Tutu:** Sorry Hana!

 

**Princess Tutu >> keyblade master**

**Princess Tutu:** So Hana caught me but rest assured I am not letting this go!

 **keyblade master:** whyyyyyy

 

**_Princess Tutu has created a group chat_ **

**_Princess Tutu_ ** _has added **zookeeper, cake enthusiast, keyblade master,** and **seven others** to the chat_

 **_Princess Tutu_ ** _has named the chat **the gang is here!**_

 **Princess Tutu:** Hello everyone!

 **Princess Tutu:** Now that the school day is over, I decided to make a group chat with all of us in Tsuna-kun’s circle!

 **keyblade master:** I HAD HOPED YOU FORGOT ABOUT THAT

 **OKOSAN:** THIS IS AN EXTREMELY AWESOME IDEA KYOKO

 **Princess Tutu:** Thanks Onii-chan!

 **zookeeper:** Oh fuck no

 **cake enthusiast:** TSUUUUUNAAAA-SAAAAAAAN

 **keyblade master:** hi haru

 **leviOsa:** Absolutely NOT

 **squalo version 2.0:** haha! this should be fun!

 **the power of god and anime:** I KNEW YOU COULDNT BE AWAY FROM THE GREAT LAMBO-SAN

 **leviOsa:** Can we PLEASE kick him out

 **the power of god and anime:** SHUT UP AHODERA

 **thing 1:** oya I have so many notifications

 **thing 1:** while chrome and I were being good students, it looks like no one else was paying attention

 **keyblade master:** class is boriiiing

 **thing 1:** there’s a reason you have a tutor vongola

 **keyblade master:** hey! i am a lot better than before!

 **thing 2:** You should still be paying attention…

 **keyblade master:**  chroooome

 **thing 2:** Sorry Boss

 **keyblade master:** oh my god lambo where are you

 **the power of god and anime:** u cant find me~~~~

 **keyblade master:** this is terrifying please come back

 **zookeeper:** What did he do this time

 **squalo version 2.0:** we went to pick up lambo but he just disappeared!

 **squalo version 2.0:** so now tsuna is freaking out

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh wait theres hibari to save the day!

 **keyblade master:** i wouldn’t say he saved the day if my INJURIES have anything to say about it

 **keyblade master:** WHY KYOYA

 **keyblade master:** I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING

 **bird set free by sia:** The alpha must always keep track of his pack.

 **cake enthusiast:** hahi! THAT’S hibari-senpai?!

 **zookeeper:** His user???

 **Princess Tutu:** We should all explain our names!!

 **Princess Tutu:** Everyone always calls me a princess sooo

 **zookeeper:** You’re all monkeys and I have to watch over you

 **leviOsa:** OI

 **squalo version 2.0:** squalos my teacher you know! And were both rains who play with swords!

 **squalo version 2.0:** hayato is leviOsa because hes the kinda guy to say “leviOsa not levioSA”

 **zookeeper:** I didn’t know you read

 **thing 1:** his username would be my doing

 **thing 1:** as is our dear kyoya’s~

 **thing 1:** as for chrome and I, we are a matching set

 **thing 2:** What Mukuro-sama said

 **keyblade master:** i look like sora from kingdom hearts

 **zookeeper:** Of course you play Kingdom Hearts

 **zookeeper:** Why is that Hibari’s name?

 **thing 1:** he is our dear skylark-kun, no? so he’s a bird

 **keyblade master:** and mukuro totally listens to sia

 **thing 1:** listen,

 **cake enthusiast:** what is an ‘okosan’???

 **OKOSAN:** OKOSAN IS THE MOST EXTREEEEEME PIGEON

 **cake enthusiast:** what

 **squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **squalo version 2.0:** its a game where all of the characters are pigeons and okosan is one of them!

 **squalo version 2.0:** hes a lot like ryohei! its really funny!

 **zookeeper:** Why do you know this

 **keyblade master:** why don’t you mind your own business

 **Princess Tutu:** I have that game on my laptop!!

 **Princess Tutu:** We should all play it!

 **leviOsa:** WHY

 **keyblade master:** ^^^

 **squalo version 2.0:** sounds like fun!!!

 **zookeeper:** Kyoko no

 **Princess Tutu:** Kyoko yes

 **Princess Tutu:** Come to my house everyone we’re playing Hatoful Boyfriend!

 **zookeeper:** *THAT’S* ITS NAME??????

 **OKOSAN:** EXTREEEEEMMMMEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure about pairings yet, but I'm leaning towards 1827, 8059, and Kyoko/Haru because I ship all of those the most. If no pairings, I'll just have everyone make references to being not-straight and have some implied ships.  
> Please note that I don't actually know anything about Princess Tutu; it was just the first thing I could think of for Kyoko


	2. SQUAD UNITE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **not a furry:** IS THAT VONGOLA DECIMO AND THE REST OF YOU
> 
>  **not a furry:** ARGUING OVER HATOFUL BOYFRIEND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that there are couples. Because I have no self control. And also I was halfway through this chapter before realizing I had said that I was still deciding and by then I had already implied 1827. So yeah. The ships won't be a super big thing but they're definitely there and will mostly likely be referenced to a lot. And there may or may not be subplots for them idk I haven't decided yet.
> 
> Well anyway! That's all I have to say so without further ado, here's the chapter!

**> >evil baby support group<<**

**keyblade master:** we’re all going to kyoko’s house

 **leviOsa:** WHAT

 **leviOsa:** TENTH

 **keyblade master:** we are ALL going to kyoko’s house

 **keyblade master:** except for lambo

 **keyblade master:** and possibly kyoya

 **keyblade master:** but everyone else WILL be there

 **OKOSAN:** EXTREME

 **squalo version 2.0:** i was gonna go anyway sooo

 **thing 1:** why

 **keyblade master:** do you WANT to make kyoko UPSET

 **keyblade master:** DO YOU

**thing 1:**

**thing 1:** point

 **thing 2:** Alright

 **keyblade master:** good. you all BETTER BE THERE

 

**> >the gang is here!<<**

**_Princess Tutu_ ** _has changed the chat name to **Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad**_

 **keyblade master:** what

 **Princess Tutu:** I feel like this is more appropriate

 **cake enthusiast:** YES!!!!

 **keyblade master:** no???????

 **leviOsa:** I agree with this name

 **squalo version 2.0:** YEET

 **keyblade master:** takeshi no

 **OKOSAN:** WE MUST EXTREMELY PROTECT TSUNA AT ALL TIMES

 **thing 1:** kufufufu…

 **keyblade master:** oh my god you actually typed out your laugh

 **thing 2:** Protect Boss

 **keyblade master:** NOT YOU TOO CHROME

 **Princess Tutu:** Oh are you guys almost here?

 **squalo version 2.0:** im here!

 **cake enthusiast:** me too!!

 **keyblade master:** WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME

 

 **the power of god and anime:** U ALL LEFT ME AT HOME

 **the power of god and anime:** TRAITORS. ALL OF U

 **the power of god and anime:** I HATE ALL OF U

 **the power of god and anime:** ARE U IGNORING ME?????

 **the power of god and anime:** IM TELLING MAMA

 

**> >mukuro and the mukuros<<**

**thing 1:** [image12.jpg]

 **you’re a furry ken:** what

 **not a furry:** IS THAT VONGOLA DECIMO AND THE REST OF YOU

 **not a furry:** ARGUING OVER HATOFUL BOYFRIEND

 **thing 2:** We’re trying to decide who we should date first

 **you’re a furry ken:** oh ken should be able to help out then

 **not a furry:** SHUT THE FUCK UP KAKIPI

 **thing 1:** I can’t believe I’m actually doing this

 **you’re a furry ken:** i can't believe you still think you don't care for vongola decimo

 **thing 1:** shut up

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** sorry lambo but this is a high schoolers only event

 **the power of god and anime:** MEAN

 **thing 1:** it’s suffering is what it is

 **keyblade master:** idk you seem very invested in arguing over why we should date nageki first

 **thing 1:** say that to my face

 

 **zookeeper:** Well that was an experience

 **leviOsa:** I can’t believe Okosan is literally Ryohei

 **squalo version 2.0:** i cant believe tsuna vaulted over the bed to try and strangle mukuro

 **thing 2:** I can’t believe it took both me and Hayato to hold him back

 **cake enthusiast:** i can’t believe hibari-senpai showed up halfway through to say that nageki is “not bad for an herbivore”

 **squalo version 2.0:** wow i wonder why

 **OKOSAN:** IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH KYOYAS EXTREME LOVE FOR SMALL ANIMALS

 **thing 1:** I can’t believe I actually agreed with the skylark about something

 **keyblade master:** he almost immediately took it back

 **zookeeper:** I can’t believe both you and Kyoko are so obsessed with this game

 **keyblade master:** you can’t prove anything

 **Princess Tutu:** Tsuna and I played Bad Boys Love together over video chat once and we both cried!

 **keyblade master:** kyoko-chan please my reputation

 **thing 1:** what reputation

 **keyblade master:** mukuro i will strangle you again and kyoya will help

 **thing 1:** you can try

 **zookeeper:** What the fuck is “Bad Boys Love”

 **keyblade master:** it’s the route that opens up after you finish specific routes

 **keyblade master:** it’s really sad

 **keyblade master:** and let’s not even talk about the sequel

 **Princess Tutu:** I haven’t played the sequel yet

 **Princess Tutu:** Is it any good?

 **keyblade master:** it’s. something

 **zookeeper:** SERIOUSLY Tsuna how do you know this and why

 **keyblade master:** i’ll never tell

 **squalo version 2.0:** YOU SEE HANA

 **keyblade master:** DON’T YOU DARE TAKESHI

 **squalo version 2.0:** it all began last summer

 **_squalo version 2.0_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

 **thing 1:** we can leave this thing????

 **_thing 1_ ** _has left the chat_

 ** _Princess Tutu_ ** _has added **squalo version 2.0** and **thing 1** to the chat_

 **thing 1:** ugh

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuna that was rude

 **keyblade master:** you’re not allowed to say a word or i’m taking away your hayato privileges

 **squalo version 2.0:** NOT MY HAYATO PRIVILEGES

 **leviOsa:** His WHAT privileges?!

 **keyblade master:** HARU COINED THE TERM NOT ME

 **cake enthusiast:** DON’T SELL ME OUT LIKE THAT

 **leviOsa:** HARUUUUUUUU

 

 **Princess Tutu:** What happened with Hayato and Haru?

 **squalo version 2.0:** we dragged him back to takesushi so he wouldnt try and track her down heheheh

 **zookeeper:** It’s ten at night and we all had dinner at Kyoko’s house

 **squalo version 2.0:** whats ur point

 **keyblade master:** it was very awkward for me

 **Princess Tutu:** I bet it was Tsuna-kun :3c

 **thing 1:** oyaoya was that a confirmation?

 **keyblade master:** you heard nothing from me

 **squalo version 2.0:** am i missing something???

 **leviOsa:** You’re speaking another fucking language here

 **keyblade master:** don’t worry about it hayato

 **squalo version 2.0:** SUSPICIOUS

 

**> >oh sanity, we hardly knew ye<<**

**zookeeper:** But seriously, how awkward was it

 **keyblade master:** i was ready to scream oh my god

 **keyblade master:** takeshi wouldn’t stop flirting and hayato had no idea what was going on

 **keyblade master:** he almost blew up the place like three times

 **keyblade master:** his face was so red

 **keyblade master:** takeshi just kept cooing at him and calling him cute

 **keyblade master:** at one point tsuyoshi-san even took pity on me and asked me to “help him with something quickly” which basically just meant he let me hide out in the back room for a while

 **buzz lightyear:** ??

 **franken:** What?

 **zookeeper:** Oh right we forgot to add you two to the chat

 **franken:** What happened?

 **keyblade master:** i was third-wheeling again that’s what

 **buzz lightyear:** Gokudera and Yamamoto again?

 **keyblade master:** YES

 **keyblade master:** CAN TAKESHI PLEASE JUST ASK HAYATO OUT ALREADY AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY

 **franken:** Is this a common occurrence?

 **buzz lightyear:** they’re usually fine at school

 **keyblade master:** it depends on takeshi’s mood i think and whether or not hayato needs calming down

 **zookeeper:** Lol sucks to be their best friend

 **buzz lightyear:** actually, speaking of romantic troubles

 **buzz lightyear:** Tsuna,

 **keyblade master:** NOPE

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**_keyblade master_ ** _has added **buzz lightyear** and **franken** to the chat_

 **buzz lightyear:** oh wow that name’s a mood

 **keyblade master:** WHY

 **Princess Tutu:** SQUAD UNITE

 **squalo version 2.0:** hey enma! hey shoichi!

 **franken:** Hi Yamamoto-kun

 **squalo version 2.0:** whats with ur names?

 **buzz lightyear:** gravity  > space > buzz lightyear

 **franken:** Spanner is “stein”

 **keyblade master:** i know what you’re referencing but also

 **keyblade master:** soul eater’s franken stein

**zookeeper:**

**keyblade master:** i was a very lonely child okay hana

 **zookeeper:** I’m still judging you

 **leviOsa:** TENTH I LOVE YOU

 **keyblade master:**?

 **squalo version 2.0:** WE LOVE YOU TSUNA

 **keyblade master:** wh

 **Princess Tutu:** <3

 **OKOSAN:** YOURE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO US LITTLE BRO

 **thing 2:** You’re a good Boss

**thing 1:**

**thing 2:** Mukuro-sama

 **thing 1:** you’re

 **thing 1:** not bad

 **cake enthusiast:** TSUNA-SAN EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU ANYMORE I STILL LOVE YOU

 **the power of god and anime:** TSUNA-NIIIIIII

 **keyblade master:** i’m so confused

 **buzz lightyear:** seriously we love you a lot Tsuna

 **franken:** ^^^ yeah uhh what they all said

 **bird set free by sia:** You’re an acceptable alpha to your pack.

 **keyblade master:** kYOYA???????

 **squalo version 2.0:** KYOYA ONLY CAME ON TO VALIDATE TSUNA HAHAHAHAHA

 **keyblade master:** can someone please explain what’s going on

 

**zookeeper >> keyblade master**

**zookeeper:** Sometimes everyone forgets what your life used to be like

 **zookeeper:** We wanted to let you know that you’re not there anymore

 **zookeeper:** Tsuna?

 **keyblade master:** i

 **keyblade master:** oh

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**cake enthusiast:** tsuna-san???

 **cake enthusiast:** are you okay?

 **keyblade master:** thanks guys

 **keyblade master:** you’re all great friends

 

**Princess Tutu >> keyblade master**

**Princess Tutu:** Not sure you can classify Kyoya as just a “great friend” ;)))))

 **keyblade master:** talk to me when you ask out haru

 **Princess Tutu:** Low blow Tsuna-kun

 **Princess Tutu:** Low blow

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** i take it back everyone except kyoko are great friends

 **Princess Tutu:** That’s rude Tsuna-kun

 **thing 1:** wow I didn’t know you were capable of being mad at her

 **keyblade master:** there are a lot of things you don’t know about me

 **thing 1:** is that a challenge

 **leviOsa:** It is NOT

 **thing 1:** you’re no fun puppy

 **leviOsa:** I will FIGHT YOU

 **squalo version 2.0:** lets not get ahead of ourselves ahahaha

 

 **keyblade master:** so

 **keyblade master:** i just got home

 **thing 2:** Boss…. it’s eleven at night and we have school tomorrow

 **keyblade master:** existential dramatics waits for no man

 **thing 1:** I don’t see any men here

 **keyblade master:** no comments from the peanut gallery please

 **keyblade master:** anyway

 **keyblade master:** aPPARENTLY REBORN CAME BACK EARLIER TODAY AND I DIDN’T KNOWHSDFJSDFJDS

 **keyblade master:** HELP ME I’M GONNA DIE

 **thing 1:** lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo new characters are arriving. Admittedly I didn't plan for Enma and Shoichi but meh. There they are. I couldn't think of usernames for them whoops  
> And what's this??? Reborn is back???? Hmmm what shall happen to Tsuna, I wonder....
> 
> buzz lightyear - Enma  
> franken - Shoichi  
> not a furry - Ken  
> you're a furry ken - Chikusa


	3. reborn, in a state of perpetual confusion,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **keyblade master:** after like the tenth time that reborn tried to kill me for misreading something i just said “hey what’s up my name is jared i’m nineteen and i never learned how to fucking read”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to include all of the characters in this is impossible. Why are there so many KHR characters?? Then again, there are a lot of bnha characters and yet somehow people continue to write chatfics with a l l of them. Somehow. There are a lot of bnha chatfics for some reason??? and about half of them have discord servers???? I Am Confusion.
> 
> This chapter is completely dedicated to Reborn! With the odd interjection here and there, but it's mostly just Reborn tbh. Or at least, everyone talking about Reborn.

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** honestly my future self faking his own death was such a power move like god i WISH

**thing 1:** is this about reborn again

**keyblade master:** yes

**thing 1:** you’re so predictable

**keyblade master:** listen i would LOVE to just sleep for 30 years to get away from my problems

**Princess Tutu:** Oh we know!

**Princess Tutu:** It’s not like you make a point to mention it every other day or anything

**keyblade master:** i don’t come here for this SASS

**Princess Tutu:** You signed up for this when you decided to become my friend~

**keyblade master:** i didn’t know you would ATTACK me like this every day

**leviOsa:** Well looking at your track record…

**keyblade master:** AND NOW HAYATO????

**keyblade master:** BETRAYAL. TREASON

**leviOsa:** I’M SORRY TENTH

**squalo version 2.0:** does this mean im back to being your best friend???

**keyblade master:** absolutely not

**keyblade master:** friendship ended with hayato and takeshi. now kyoya is my best friend

**leviOsa:** KYOYA?????

**leviOsa:** Tenth

**leviOsa:** Tenth please tell me you’re joking

**leviOsa:** TENTH

 

**squalo version 2.0:** ASGBFSKJD

**zookeeper:** ????

**squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHSASFYHDKSJCND

**cake enthusiast:** are u okay yamamoto-san?

**keyblade master:** the most SURREAL thing just happened

**leviOsa:** Reborn won’t get mad at us will he?

**squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGHDFBSDHF IM CRYING

**cake enthusiast:** what happened????

**keyblade master:** reborn doesn’t know about memes

**zookeeper:**

**zookeeper:** What

**squalo version 2.0:** HE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT MEMESHSDDHIRUGDFK

**keyblade master:** so takeshi and hayato were having breakfast at my place right

**keyblade master:** and after our last conversation i came downstairs

**keyblade master:** and hayato and takeshi are standing there with disappointed expressions

**squalo version 2.0:** also reborn was just kinda watching us not rly knowing what was happening

**keyblade master:** and then hayato says “saw you hanging out with kyoya the other day”

**keyblade master:** me: h-hayato! t-takeshi! it’s not what you think!

**keyblade master:** takeshi: we won’t hesitate B I T C H

**keyblade master:** i had to narrowly avoid an unlit bomb

**leviOsa:** I’M SORRY TENTH

**keyblade master:** and THEN

**keyblade master:** REBORN STARED AT US, ESPRESSO ABANDONED, WITH SUCH CONFUSION AND POSSIBLE FEAR IN HIS EYES?????

**squalo version 2.0:** HE WAS SO CONFUSEDSFHDFDHKGHFDSEJFD IT WAS SO FUNNY

**zookeeper:** Oh my god

**leviOsa:** All of us started laughing dO YOU THINK HE’S MAD

**keyblade master:** of course he’s mad he’s reborn but like whatever

**cake enthusiast:** you’ve become so much more casual lately tsuna-san!

**keyblade master:** thanks it’s the near death experiences

**zookeeper:** I’m surprised Gokudera knows about memes

**squalo version 2.0:** hes still mostly oblivious but tsuna and i showed him a lot of vine compilations

**squalo version 2.0:** and some other stuff after i called tsunas shoulder “free real estate”

**keyblade master:** what is it about me that looks like free real estate

**keyblade master:** first reborn w my hair

**keyblade master:** now you with my shoulder

**squalo version 2.0:** ur v v small and fluffy

**cake enthusiast:** that’s very true

**keyblade master:** guys no pls

 

**thing 1:** I have an idea that may or may not involve murder

**keyblade master:** first of all we’re still in school???

**keyblade master:** second of all nO I CAN’T BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL AGAIN

**keyblade master:** WE’RE ALREADY ON THIN ICE WITH THE VINDICE

**thing 1:** but vongola you don’t understand

**thing 1:** this boy started harassing chrome

**keyblade master:** o shit let’s commit a murder

**leviOsa:** TENTH????

**Princess Tutu:** Oooooo direct me to this boy and I’ll punch him gladly

**Princess Tutu:** Beating up Onii-chan’s club members got boring :(

**zookeeper:** Let’s keep Kyoko away from this boy but I’ll gladly sabotage him in any way I can

**squalo version 2.0:** ILL GET MY SWORD

**OKOSAN:** I AM EXTREMELY PREPARED

**thing 2:** I’m fine you guys

**thing 2:** I can handle this don’t worry

**thing 1:** absolutely not

**thing 1:** you’re ours and we will not allow this boy to bother you

**keyblade master:** ^^^

**squalo version 2.0:** so whats his name

**thing 2:** No

**Princess Tutu:** We need a name Chrome-chan

**thing 2:** Nope not happening

**thing 1:** at least TRAUMATIZE him

**thing 2:** I’m not you Mukuro-sama

**thing 1:** pity

**keyblade master:** I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR MY FAVORITE GUARDIAN

**squalo version 2.0:** i take offense to that!!!

**Princess Tutu:** Are you sure your favorite Guardian isn’t Kyoya?

**keyblade master:** s t op pLS

**leviOsa:** I THOUGHT THE BEST FRIENDS THING WAS A JOKE

**squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHAHAHA OH HAYATO

**thing 1:** you all are useless

**keyblade master:** hey i’m still down for murder

**thing 1:** nice

 

**franken:** Do you think the Arcobaleno all have their own group chat?

**cake enthusiast:** hmm??? maybe

**OKOSAN:** COLONELLO-SENSEI DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THIS APP

**keyblade master:** can confirm the only arcobaleno who know how this app works are skull viper verde and lal

**thing 1:** those four are in a group chat dedicated to trash talking the rest of the arcobaleno

**cake enthusiast:** omg

**thing 1:** mammon knows because they are in a chat with the varia

**keyblade master:** skull is a millennial so ofc he made a group chat

**franken:** That’s fair

**keyblade master:** verde knows because. well. he’s verde

**franken:** That’s also fair

**keyblade master:** and lal is far from an idiot so she figured it out p quickly

**OKOSAN:** SO REBORN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS APP

**keyblade master:** NO HE DOESN’T AND IT’S THE MOST HILARIOUS THING

**franken:** Shouldn’t you… teach him?

**keyblade master:** Absolutely Not. the punishment is worth the hilarity

 

**buzz lightyear:** every time Tsuna gets picked up by Reborn after school i have to laugh

**cake enthusiast:** why’s that enma-kun?

**buzz lightyear:** people react in one of three ways when they see Tsuna and Reborn together

**buzz lightyear:** 1) they moon over Reborn and maybe glare at Tsuna, but usually they just ignore him

**buzz lightyear:** 2) they ask if Tsuna needs any help and glare at REBORN

**buzz lightyear:** 3) they coo at them and call Reborn a “good older brother/father”

**buzz lightyear:** either way it’s the best thing

**leviOsa:** I wonder if Iemitsu-san is aware of the third one

**OKOSAN:** I EXTREMELY HOPE SO

**buzz lightyear:** same

**franken:** Same

**squalo version 2.0:** same!!!

**zookeeper:** I can’t believe Hayato was the first one to say that

**leviOsa:** I hold the grudge so the Tenth doesn’t have to

**keyblade master:** that’s a nice sentiment awww but you don’t have to because i hold a grudge too lol

**leviOsa:** Oh. Well I’m still mad

**keyblade master:** ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

**leviOsa:** ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

 

**squalo version 2.0 >> keyblade master**

**squalo version 2.0:** how. how is this possible

**squalo version 2.0:** how can it possibly be possible that hayato is so cute sending HEART EMOJIS

**squalo version 2.0:** and he loves you so much its so????

**squalo version 2.0:** i mean i love u too (you know this) but he???????

**keyblade master:** oh my god

**keyblade master:** takeshi you know i love you too but please. pLEASE. JUST ASK HIM OUT

**squalo version 2.0:** i dont think u understand how much i Cannot Do That

**keyblade master:** TAKESHI

**squalo version 2.0:** TSUNA

**keyblade master:** just. he won’t say no or mock you or anything so just. ask him

**squalo version 2.0:** t s u n a

**keyblade master:** i have to go reborn is looking at me funny

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**cake enthusiast:** the bond between all of the guardians is so cuuuuuuutttteeee~~~

**thing 1:** what bond

**cake enthusiast:** you know exactly what i’m talking about

**thing 2:** ^

**cake enthusiast:** don’t you ever lie to me again

 

**franken:** I’m so mad

**Princess Tutu:** Why?

**franken:** I could have called myself Bill Nye instead of franken

**franken:** But no I have to match Spanner

**squalo version 2.0:** a wasted opportunity smh

**franken:** This is homophobic

**squalo version 2.0:** i said that in front of my dad once and he gave me a lecture

**squalo version 2.0:** he didnt even let me explain until he was finished

**franken:** Yeah that happens

 

**the power of god and anime:** wheres tsuna-nii? hes not home

**OKOSAN:** LAMBO YOURE NOT USING CAPS

**the power of god and anime:** I DONT USE CAPS ALL THE TIME STUPID LAWN HEAD

**the power of god and anime:** is reborn still dragging tsuna-nii around

**cake enthusiast:** yup! i saw them hanging around town

**cake enthusiast:** i think they’re doing some shopping

**buzz lightyear:** yeah hey why did Reborn pick up Tsuna?

**leviOsa:** Reborn-san hasn’t been back in a while so they’re catching up

**OKOSAN:** REBORN EXTREMELY MISSED TSUNA

**leviOsa:** …Yeah that’s pretty much it

**buzz lightyear:** that

**cake enthusiast:** is SO CUTE AWWW

**Princess Tutu:** THAT IS ADORABLE

**buzz lightyear:** yeah what they said

 

**keyblade master:** got home and the chronicles of reborn being confused continues

**Princess Tutu:** Do go on Tsuna-kun

**squalo version 2.0:** (✧∀✧)

**keyblade master:** i was super tired cuz last night reborn was throwing a fit so i couldn’t really pay attention to studying

**keyblade master:**  after like the tenth time that reborn tried to kill me for misreading something i just said “hey what’s up my name is jared i’m nineteen and i never learned how to fucking read”

**keyblade master:** reborn proceeded to ask if i hit my head recently with something other than the leon hammer

**squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHASFDIUSHDF

**thing 2:** Oh Reborn-san……

**zookeeper:** I honestly didn’t expect you to like memes so much

**keyblade master:** lol no i’m literally just messing with him

**keyblade master:** takeshi and mukuro are the ones who love memes

**thing 1:** don’t expose me like this

**keyblade master:** ;)

 

**keyblade master:** HELP ME

**keyblade master:** GUYSGUYSGUYSKASUHDSFBDHC HELP I NEED SO MUCH HELP

**leviOsa:** WHAT IS IT TENTH I CAN BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES OR POSSIBLY TWO

**keyblade master:** no not that kind of help

**leviOsa:** Oh

**keyblade master:** BUT I’M STILL PANICKING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**keyblade master:** I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED REBORN D A D

**keyblade master:** PLEASE MURDER ME ON THE SPOT AND FLING MY BODY INTO THE VOID

**squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Do you see me as a father figure, Dame-Tsuna?

**keyblade master:** I SEE YOU AS A BOTHER FIGURE BECAUSE YOU’RE ALWAYS B O T H E R I N G ME

**keyblade master:** WAIT HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE

**keyblade master:** VERDE

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Verde

 

**keyblade master >> Bill Nye**

**keyblade master:** VERDE

**Bill Nye:** You’re welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I discovered while editing this chapter that emojis just do not compute on here so I had to improvise.
> 
> I know you guys want Reborn to be mysterious and cool and stuff but Reborn is an old man that doesn't pay attention to social media and doesn't understand memes for the life of him. Tsuna knows p much everything but he doesn't really care for referencing them often (except to confuse Reborn). Takeshi makes the most jokes and Mukuro likes to use them at inopportune times. Hayato doesn't know much but he's learning.
> 
> So far this fic is the 8059 show???? Which is weird because I ship 1827 a lot. So I need to figure that out. And also Kyoko/Haru (and yes I did forget what their ship is called). Also platonic relationships are adorable and I refuse to not let them all be open about the fact that everyone loves each other.
> 
> THIS IS SPARTA - Reborn  
> Bill Nye - Verde


	4. No Pining Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **thing 1:** this is why chrome and I don't eat lunch with you people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to be somewhere an hour ago and yet, here I am,

**> >this is so sad alexa play bring me to life<<**

**Bill Nye:** I did something good today

 **shiniGAYmi:** that sounds like a lie

 **Bill Nye:** It was a lie

 **Bill Nye:** I added Reborn to Decimo’s group chat with his friends

 **shiniGAYmi:** why would u do that

 **Bill Nye:** It was funny

 **Black Canary:** Does Reborn even know how to open this app

 **Bill Nye:** He knows how to *open* the app

 **Bill Nye:** I don’t think he knows anything else

 **shiniGAYmi:** lol he’s such an old man

 **Black Canary:** Skull what the fuck did you do to the chat name

 **shiniGAYmi:** it reflects all of us

 **shiniGAYmi:** WAKE ME UP

 **original houdini:** (wake me up inside)

 **shiniGAYmi:** CAN’T WAKE UP

 **original houdini:** (wake me up inside)

 **shiniGAYmi:** SAVE MEEEEEEEE

 **original houdini:** (call my name and save me from the dark)

 **Black Canary:** Viper why

 **original houdini:** skull promised me a majority of his salary for the last job he took

 **shiniGAYmi:** also they LOVE me

 **original houdini:** eh

 **shiniGAYmi:** THAT’S NOT A NO

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Is this what Dame-Tsuna does instead of paying attention in class?

 **thing 1:** hurr durr look at me I’m reborn and I use proper grammar

 **keyblade master:** gross

 **squalo version 2.0:** whoooaaaaa

 **leviOsa:** I

 **leviOsa:** Should I be offended?

 **squalo version 2.0:** no bby u do just fine

 **leviOsa:** DON’T CALL ME THAT

 **keyblade master:** oh my god

 **thing 1:** oh my god

 

**thing 1 >> keyblade master**

**thing 1:** how do you deal with them

 **keyblade master:** i ascend to another dimension

 **keyblade master:** in other words i block them out and listen to music if i can

 **thing 1:** on a similar topic how’s your thing with kyo-chan going

 **keyblade master:** it’s not???

 **thing 1:** I have money riding on this vongola

 **keyblade master:** I KNOW

 **keyblade master:** now shut up cuz it’s not happening

 **thing 1:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** I noticed that nobody answered my question.

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh my god he used a period

 **squalo version 2.0:** ive only ever seen kyoya do that to make a point

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Your grammar is atrocious, Yamamoto.

 **keyblade master:** and THIS is an ADULT FREE ZONE

 **_THIS IS SPARTA_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

 **keyblade master:** alright i made verde promise to not randomly add reborn again

 **keyblade master:** i also added restrictions

 **thing 1:** when did you get admin privileges wtf

 **leviOsa:** How did you get Verde to listen to you?

 **keyblade master:** i’m kyoko-chan’s third favorite and the reason for this chat so she gave me privileges

 **keyblade master:** also verde totally listens to me

**thing 1:**

**keyblade master:** alright so i threatened him a lil bit nbd

 **thing 1:** I’m in tears vongola I’m so proud

 **keyblade master:** wow. i’m so glad i could make you happy

 

**THIS IS SPARTA >> keyblade master**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Tsuna.

 **keyblade master:** that use of a period terrifies me why are you like this

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Explain to me how to change my name.

 **keyblade master:** lol look it up old man

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Tsuna.

 **keyblade master:** it’s literally not that hard

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** You’re being awfully rude to your father, Dame-Tsuna.

 **keyblade master:** I CALLED YOU DAD O N E TIME

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** [heisNOTmydad.jpg]

 **keyblade master:** WHY

**THIS IS SPARTA >> keyblade master**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Also, Tsuna, it’s ten o’clock. Go to sleep.

 **keyblade master:** ???? that’s so early

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Go. To. Sleep.

 **keyblade master:** your consistent use of periods continues to terrify me i’ll go to bed

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Good.

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**Princess Tutu:** Awww you have to admit he is a bit of a father figure to you

 **leviOsa:** Better than Iemitsu-san at any rate

 **squalo version 2.0:** ^^^

 **the power of god and anime:** i agree

 **Princess Tutu:** Lambo-chan please go to bed

 **the power of god and anime:** NEVER

 **Princess Tutu:** Lambo-chan

 **the power of god and anime:** grrrrrrrrr

 **Princess Tutu:** Lambo-chan

 **the power of god and anime:** FINE

 **the power of god and anime:** also tsuna-nii went to bed because reborn told him to

 **squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHAHAHA REBORN TRULY IS A DAD

 **leviOsa:** Which is a lot less creepy to consider now that he’s back to looking like an adult

 **Princess Tutu:** Wow! Tsuna doesn’t normally go to bed so early when Reborn is gone!

 **squalo version 2.0:** that just goes to show how much of a dad reborn is lmao

 **leviOsa:** Somebody tell Iemitsu-san

 **Princess Tutu:** Whoa there, isn’t that a bit much?

 **squalo version 2.0:** i think thats perfect!!!!

 **Princess Tutu:** Right… I’m going to bed too

 **Princess Tutu:** See you all tomorrow!

 **squalo version 2.0:** gn!!

 **leviOsa:** Good night

 

 **Princess Tutu:** Riiiiise and shine, everyone!

 **OKOSAN:** GOOD MORNING KYOKO

 **Princess Tutu:** Onii-chan, are you already out on your morning run?

 **OKOSAN:** YES I AM

 **OKOSAN:** IM GOING TO GO VISIT TSUNA SOON

 **Princess Tutu:** Okay! Did you already have breakfast?

 **OKOSAN:** YES I DID THANK YOU KYOKO

 **Princess Tutu:** ^.^

 

 **OKOSAN:** TSUNA ARE YOU AWAKE

 **keyblade master:** yes hello onii-san what’s up

 **OKOSAN:** WHY IS KYOYA SITTING AT YOUR DINING TABLE

**keyblade master:**

**keyblade master:** uhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **thing 1:** oh my oh my

 **thing 1:** what’s this development~?

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuna is there something you need to tell us

 **squalo version 2.0:** ;)))))

 **franken:** Oh

 **buzz lightyear:** i can't believe you haven't told me anything about THIS

 **leviOsa:** WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING IN YOUR HOUSE TENTH????????

 **keyblade master:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **keyblade master:** @ kyoya what are you doing in my house

 **thing 1:** @bird set free by sia

 **bird set free by sia:** Fuck you.

 **bird set free by sia:** What do you want

 **keyblade master:** why are you in my house

 **bird set free by sia:** Breakfast

 **bird set free by sia:** Get down here omnivore

 **keyblade master:** i’ll be right down!

 

**> >No Pining Zone<<**

**buzz lightyear:** ryohei what’s going on now

 **OKOSAN:** I THINK

 **OKOSAN:** I THINK KYOYA IS

 **OKOSAN:** FLIRTING????

 **OKOSAN:** ITS EXTREMELY HARD TO TELL BUT THEYRE ACTUALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION

 **the power of god and anime:** tsuna-nii and kyoya-nii are so gross together

 **the power of god and anime:** kyoya-nii hasn’t looked away from tsuna-nii since he came downstairs

 **OKOSAN:** REBORN DOESNT SEEM TO KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS

 **thing 1:** oh the trials of being a fatherly figure and a tutor at the same time

 **zookeeper:** What, is he trying to decide between parental concern and matchmaking?

 **OKOSAN:** THAT IS EXTREMELY LIKELY

 **franken:** Amazing

 **thing 2:** Um, when was this group chat made?

 **zookeeper:** After Kyoko made the protection squad chat

 **zookeeper:** We had to get away from all of the pining somehow

 **thing 1:** also we’re all betting on when they all get together

 **thing 1:** I have money on vongola and skylark getting together in april during sakura season

 **zookeeper:** My money is on Kyoko kissing Haru on Christmas

 **thing 2:** Oh

 **thing 2:** Is that moral?

 **thing 1:** we’re mafia dear chrome

 **thing 2:** Right…

 **thing 2:** Okay, that’s true, but should we have a nine year old in this chat...?

 **the power of god and anime:** I GIVE EXCLUSIVE INPUT CHROME-NEE

 **thing 1:** the boy has a point

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** ok i know i said earlier that i don’t really care for memes and internet references

 **keyblade master:** but you know sometimes things just get stuck in my head and i forget they’re not like normal

 **keyblade master:** so anyway lambo stole reborn’s food and my reaction was “oh look how the turn tables”

 **Princess Tutu:** Omg how did Reborn react?

 **Princess Tutu:** Tsuuuunnnnaaaa-kuuuuuunnnnnnn

 **OKOSAN:** REBORN EXTREMELY BELIEVES TSUNA LOST A FEW BRAIN CELLS WHILE HE WAS GONE

 **squalo version 2.0:** guys!! hayato and i just met up with tsuna and kyoya and omg

 **squalo version 2.0:** okay actually kyoya isnt a very romantic person but hes being nice

 **squalo version 2.0:** and its all in the heart eyes

 **squalo version 2.0:** ok just

 **squalo version 2.0:** [kyoyaslovestruckeyes.jpg]

 **squalo version 2.0:** LOOK AT THIS!!!!!

 **Princess Tutu:** That’s!!

 **zookeeper:** That’s some damning evidence right there

 **buzz lightyear:** PROOF

 **leviOsa:** Takeshi, you better hope that neither Tenth nor Kyoya happen to look at their phone right now

 **OKOSAN:** KYOYA AND TSUNA ARE EXTREMELY PREOCCUPIED WITH EACH OTHER

 **OKOSAN:** THEY WONT NOTICE

 **leviOsa:** Reborn is staring at us funny

 **franken:** Probably because you’re texting each other instead of just talking

 **Princess Tutu:** Or arguing!

 **squalo version 2.0:** haha yup!

 **squalo version 2.0:** i think i just heard him mutter something about ‘goddamn teenagers’ HAHAHAHAHA

 **zookeeper:** [old man voice] those teenagers and their goddamn cell phones

 **buzz lightyear:** [old man voice] back in my day we used to actually talk to each other

 **OKOSAN:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh geez ryohei actually laughed out loud and now hayato is trying to strangle him

 **squalo version 2.0:** im going to deal with that

 **Princess Tutu:** Have fun!

 

 **keyblade master:** just got to school and hayato and ryohei wouldn’t stop arguing the whole way

 **keyblade master:** i wouldn’t be surprised if my guardians had a chat completely dedicated to arguing tbh

 **squalo version 2.0:** lol

**leviOsa:**

**keyblade master:** ?

 

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**leviOsa:** Nobody tells the Tenth about this chat

 **squalo version 2.0:** agreed

 **OKOSAN:** I EXTREMELY AGREE

 **thing 1:** of course

 **thing 2:** Yes

 **the power of god and anime:** i wasnt going to

 **bird set free by sia:** Don’t tell me what to do.

 **bird set free by sia:** But this chat will remain secret

 **leviOsa:** GOOD

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**leviOsa:** Sorry Tenth, that was a mis-send

 **keyblade master:** oh ok

 

**> >No Pining Zone<<**

**zookeeper:** Further evidence of Tsuna and Hibari being disgusting is Hibari using Tsuna’s lap as a pillow while not looking away from his face as he talks

 **zookeeper:** Meanwhile, the monkey duo flirts in the guise of arguing

 **zookeeper:** I’m so glad Haru doesn’t go to this school

 **OKOSAN:** EXTREME

 **the power of god and anime:** ew im starting to want to leave this chat

 **thing 1:** this is why chrome and I don’t eat lunch with you people

 **zookeeper:** I’d join you if I could risk leaving Kyoko to these monkeys

 **franken:** I don't even know why I sit with any of you

 **thing 1:** I wouldn’t let you join us anyway

 **thing 2:** Mukuro-sama’s emo band is an exclusive club

 **OKOSAN:** HIS WHAT

 **thing 1:** CHROME

 **franken:** Oh my god

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**zookeeper:** [emobandconfirmed.jpg]

 **zookeeper:** Gokudera owes me so much money

 **thing 1:** IT’S NOT AN EMO BAND

 **thing 2:** Our chat is called “mukuro and the mukuros”

 **thing 2:** It’s an emo band Mukuro-sama

 **keyblade master:** I KNEW IT

 **squalo version 2.0:** i cant believe tsuna can be summoned by confirmation of mukuros emo band

 **squalo version 2.0:** for haru mukuro and chrome, tsuna just said “hayato ill take my money after school”

 **cake enthusiast:** how much money does gokudera-chan owe????

 **squalo version 2.0:** just a little bit to hana and tsuna

 **Princess Tutu:** Hey @ Hana, what’s that group chat?

 **zookeeper:** Don’t worry about it

 **Princess Tutu:** That’s shady

 **OKOSAN:** IT IS EXTREMELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

 **Princess Tutu:** That’s shadier

 **keyblade master:** in the words of takeshi: SUSPICIOUS

 

**Princess Tutu >> zookeeper**

**Princess Tutu:** Hana-chan

 **Princess Tutu:** Hana-chan Haru is so pretty and I’m so gay

 **zookeeper:** I know Kyoko

 **Princess Tutu:** I’M SO!!!!

 **zookeeper:** I know Kyoko

 

**> >No Pining Zone<<**

**OKOSAN:** TODAY IS AN EXTREMELY ROMANTIC DAY

 **OKOSAN:** HARU WAS WAITING FOR KYOKO AFTER SCHOOL

 **OKOSAN:** THEYRE GOING ON A DATE

 **zookeeper:** An actual date or a “this is totally a date but we won’t acknowledge that it’s a date” date

 **OKOSAN:** THE SECOND ONE

 **thing 1:** i think you mean that today is an extremely gay day

 **OKOSAN:** YOU USED EXTREME

 **thing 1:** no shit wait

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** omg ryohei just tackled mukuro in the yard

 **keyblade master:** you know i honestly can’t remember if mukuro even goes to this school

**franken:**

**franken:** Holy shit you’re right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skull is the only one with a gay joke in his username because he is absolutely the kind of gay to shout it at every opportunity and also it was too good an opportunity
> 
> shiniGAYmi - Skull  
> Black Canary - Lal  
> original houdini - Viper/Mammon


	5. vongola is kind of a cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **OKOSAN:** IT WAS NOT A CRUSH IT WAS VERY PLATONIC AFFECTION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK WARNING: there's a part in this chapter that gets a bit heavy, but nothing that's like, actually angsty. It's really just Tsuna needing a hug.

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**buzz lightyear:** so does Mukuro actually go to our school?

**bird set free by sia:** Unfortunately

**buzz lightyear:** whoa you’re actually on here without anyone having to mention Tsuna

**buzz lightyear:** DID YOU JUST LEAVE ME ON READ

**keyblade master:** why does everyone think you guys forced me into a cult

**keyblade master:** actually i know exactly why but ohhhhhh my god

**Princess Tutu:** ?

**squalo version 2.0:** hey! were not a cult!

**leviOsa:** We’re kind of a cult

**thing 1:** pretty sure hayato-chan is ready to create a cult dedicated to vongola after high school

**keyblade master:** what.

**leviOsa:** Shut the fuck up you pineapple bastard

**thing 1:** o so that’s how it is

**thing 1:** meet me behind kfc, 2am, bring backup

**keyblade master:** absolutely not

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**leviOsa:** Ten o’clock, Takeshi’s house  @thing 1

**thing 1:** deal

**squalo version 2.0:** good thing my dads so understanding!

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** anyway so i saw one of our teachers at the grocery store

**keyblade master:** and she was like “oh you’re not with your friends today?”

**keyblade master:** and i was like “no i’m shopping for my mom”

**Princess Tutu:** I thought you went shopping yesterday with Reborn

**keyblade master:** ehhh it was more like he was dragging me around cuz he hates my wardrobe

**keyblade master:** so she’s like “oh okay” and then she goes “hey umm are you and your friends ok with like each other” and i’m just like “uhh yeah??? we’re good friends” and she was like “they just seem a bit hmmmm intimidating” and at this point i just hear kill bill sirens

**keyblade master:** but i was just like “yeah they’re intimidating but we’re friends and i choose to hang around them” and she just went “hmmmmm if you’re sure” and walked away

**zookeeper:** You didn’t choose us at all

**keyblade master:** you’re completely right

**keyblade master:** you all forced yourselves into my inner circle composed of myself and now i’ve been forced to love all of you and consider you family and it’s awful

**squalo version 2.0:** we love you~

**keyblade master:** ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

**THIS IS SPARTA >> keyblade master**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Why did your teacher just ask me to keep an eye on your Guardians?

**keyblade master:** she thinks they forced me into a cult or something

**THIS IS SPARTA:** We’re not a cult. We’re worse.

**keyblade master:** i know that

**keyblade master:** where did you disappear to wtf

**THIS IS SPARTA:** A mafia boss shouldn’t have to ask. He should be able to find me on his own.

**keyblade master:**

**keyblade master:** you’re right behind me, aren’t you

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Find out.

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** i hate reborn

**buzz lightyear:** what else is new

 

**cake enthusiast:** hey quick question does anyone other than takeshi-san and hana-chan and kyoko-chan actually have a job

**cake enthusiast:** it’s just that none of you actually seem to do anything

**thing 1:** hayato-chan works at the library

**leviOsa:** You shut the fuck up

**buzz lightyear:** i work at a clothing store

**franken:**

**franken:** I…… basically already work for Byakuran-san……………

**Princess Tutu:** RIP

**squalo version 2.0:** i dont actually know where u and kyoko work @ haru!

**squalo version 2.0:** i know hanas a server

**Princess Tutu:** We both managed to score jobs at that cake shop we always go to!

**cake enthusiast:** #worstdecisionofmylife

**Princess Tutu:** It’s not that bad…

**cake enthusiast:** the next man to hit on kyoko-chan is going to find himself suddenly unable to have children

**leviOsa:** I can blow them up for you two

**zookeeper:** Do it do it do it

**Princess Tutu:** Guys!! Tsuna-kun wants you to stay out of prison until we graduate at the very least!

**thing 1:** did he forget the entirety of middle school

**Princess Tutu:** He said that high school is a clean slate and as far as he’s concerned middle school never happened

**franken:** Big mood

**Princess Tutu:** So you all!! Better not get arrested!!

**squalo version 2.0:** wont get arrested if we dont get caught heheh

**squalo version 2.0:** srsly tho!! are u two ok??

**Princess Tutu:** A few of the customers are annoying as Haru-chan said but we really do enjoy working there!

**buzz lightyear:** customer service is pretty awful in general

**cake enthusiast:** oh yeah we got off-topic!

**cake enthusiast:** (but i do like working with kyoko-chan and at the shop!! it’s just that the customers are kinda :/ )

**cake enthusiast:** anyway!! anyone else?

**squalo version 2.0:** tsuna is thinking of working with me at takesushi

**leviOsa:** Reborn wants him to intern at one of Vongola’s companies near here though

**leviOsa:** I think he wants him to go undercover and then laugh when people realize that the nondescript intern is to be their new boss

**Princess Tutu:** That sounds like a Reborn thing to do

**thing 1:** that sounds amazing he should do it

**squalo version 2.0:** it sounds HILARIOUS

**squalo version 2.0:** but i still want to work with tsuna hmmmmmm

**leviOsa:** The internship shouldn’t be too long so he might be able to work with you before we graduate

**squalo version 2.0:** yessss

**Princess Tutu:** Oh yeah! Onii-chan works at the gym!

**zookeeper:** That guy can work at a gym and not get fired??

**Princess Tutu:** The gym is owned by Vongola

**zookeeper:** Ah

**thing 1:** my dear chrome, against my wishes, works at a café

**thing 1:** I am just barely managing to keep those slimy boys’ hands off of her…

**thing 1:** but luckily ken and chikusa are very helpful

**Princess Tutu:** If anyone does anything to her, we’ll make them suffer!! ^.^

**thing 1:** yes show your bloodthirst

**zookeeper:** Kyoko no

**Princess Tutu:** Kyoko yes!

**cake enthusiast:** kyoko-chan yes!

**Princess Tutu:**  ❤

**cake enthusiast:**  ❤

**zookeeper:** You useless lesbian

**cake enthusiast:** useless BI-SEX-U-AL

**cake enthusiast:** let us not forget my short thing for tsuna-san

**leviOsa:** Short? You were in love with him for like a YEAR

**cake enthusiast:** we were all in love with him in middle school ok

**zookeeper:** I wasn’t

**Princess Tutu:** I tried but I could only love him like a brother

**cake enthusiast:** ok but everybody else……

**squalo version 2.0:** haha yup!

**leviOsa:** Yes…

**thing 1:** no one will ever know

**thing 2:** It was a very brief gratitude crush

**thing 1:** SHUT. UP.

**thing 2:** I had a crush on him at the same time it was weird but short

**OKOSAN:** IT WAS NOT A CRUSH IT WAS VERY PLATONIC AFFECTION

**buzz lightyear:** i DEFINITELY had a crush on him

**franken:** Same

**bird set free by sia:** I will kill each and every one of you

**squalo version 2.0:** holy shit somehow that was actually intimidating!

**OKOSAN:** HE DIDN’T THREATEN TO BITE US TO DEATH

**thing 1:** oh my looks like skylark-kun is actually serious

**the power of god and anime:** youre all gross

 

**Princess Tutu >> bird set free by sia**

**Princess Tutu:** Don’t worry Hibari-san! No one else has a crush on Tsuna-kun now, so you still have your chance

**bird set free by sia:** I can’t find where I asked

**Princess Tutu:** You can’t fool me Hibari-san

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** what the fuck

 

**keyblade master:** don’t think i didn’t notice how you all suddenly went silent what the fuck you guys

**keyblade master:** how is it possible that almost all of my guardians had crushes one me and i didn’t notice

**buzz lightyear:** Shouichi and i also had crushes on you

**keyblade master:** WHY

**franken:** Can you believe he really needs an explanation?

**cake enthusiast:** why WOULDN’T we have a crush on you

**keyblade master:** uhhhh do you want the fucking LIST

**keyblade master:** because i have one

**Princess Tutu:** Do you need a hug Tsuna-kun?

**keyblade master:** i always need a hug

**franken:** @leviOsa Where’s Tsuna right now

**leviOsa:** He’s at home

**squalo version 2.0:** GO GO GO PROTECTION SQUAD

**keyblade master:** WHAT

**keyblade master:** KYOYA JUST BROKE INTO MY HOUSE

**squalo version 2.0:** good everything is working perfectly

 

**keyblade master:** so

**keyblade master:** don’t get me wrong i love this

**keyblade master:** but reborn has been staring at us for like five minutes now

 

“Tsuna,” Reborn said. “What is this?”

Tsuna put down his phone and sat up. Takeshi lifted his head to grin and wave at Reborn, but he immediately flopped down against the pillows afterwards. It was pretty amazing how they were able to construct this fort in the middle of the living room in such a short amount of time. It was pretty nice. Tsuna had never built a pillow fort before. Now that he thought about it, he probably could have asked if they could make one a long time ago, but it had never come up.

“This is a pillow fort,” he answered. He gestured around himself. Hayato was peering over Takeshi’s shoulder as he played a game on his DS and criticizing him. Kyoko and Haru were cuddled together and probably asleep, which was sickeningly adorable. Ryohei was also conked out nearby, having used up a lot of energy sprinting to his house and then helping build the fort in record time. Enma was looking at something on his phone and generally ignoring everyone else. Shouichi was tinkering with some small device. It might have been Tsuna’s TV remote, which was mildly worrying. The kids were all huddled together in one corner playing some sort of card game. Shockingly, Kyoya was there, lying on his back, staring at the makeshift ceiling and letting Tsuna use him as a pillow.

“Why?” Reborn asked.

“Why not?”

“Tsuna wasn’t feeling great so we’re keeping him company!” Takeshi chirped, looking back up again to interrupt them.

“Oi, oi, idiot, you’re about to—and you’re dead.” Hayato sighed and glared at him. “At least pause the game, moron.” He shoved at his face and Takeshi laughed. Tsuna smiled at the two of them.

“What do you mean you weren’t feeling great?” Reborn asked. It wasn’t accusing.

Tsuna didn’t like talking about his mental health. It wasn’t the best—not that any of them could claim to have great mental health—and he hadn’t exactly had any friends for the first thirteen years of his life. Even then, he didn’t know how to talk about himself. He was learning, slowly, to trust his friends with his emotions, but adults were another matter entirely. Adults hadn’t exactly been there for him and it took a long time for Tsuna to trust Reborn. It was hard, admitting his issues to him, even though he knew about them.

His silence was answer enough. Reborn nodded. “Okay,” he said easily, understanding in the way only he could be. “I’m bringing homework in there. You don’t get a free pass, but I’ll go easy on you and wait for you guys to get out from under there before looking over it.”

Tsuna smiled and nodded. “Thank you.” The doorbell rang. “Oh! That’s Chrome. I’ll go—“ A hand caught his wrist and tugged him back before he could stand. He fell back, head ending up pillowed on Kyoya’s stomach. He wasn’t looking at him, still looking at the blanket above them, but he was pinning him down.

“Don’t get up,” Kyoya said. Takeshi snickered, failing to muffle the sound behind his hand, but Tsuna was too flustered to glare at him. Instead, he nodded silently and hoped that the shade the blanket over their heads provided was enough to hide his blush.

“I’ll let her in then,” Reborn said, sounding amused. Tsuna couldn’t see him from his position, but he could hear him leave.

Chrome’s arrival was announced by the miniscule light pouring in, and then the click of her phone camera.

“ _Chrome_!”

 

**> >No Pining Zone<<**

**thing 2:** [allthreecouplesbeingcute.jpg]

**thing 1:** this is why I didn’t go

**thing 2:** You didn’t go because you don’t want to admit you’re a softy who loves his friends

**thing 1:** shut it

**thing 2:** We’re having a sleepover so don’t wait up

**thing 2:** Hayato and Takeshi are going to pretend to go back to Takeshi's place to get their things so the fight's still on

**thing 1:** if they backed out on me I was going to kill them myself

**thing 2:** Sure you were

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** thanks guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to incorporate some actual writing in here, so I hope I did well! Not much else happened though :(  
> Also if someone writes an identity reveal fic about Tsuna as a Vongola intern (documenting the Thoughts from the beginning of the internship to the end when he is finally revealed) I will love you forever


	6. best friend secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kusakabe Tetsuya >> Princess Tutu**
> 
> **Kusakabe Tetsuya:** What did you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly still shocked that you guys find this fic funny. I don't even know what I'm doing.

**> >oh sanity, we hardly knew ye<<**

**keyblade master:** you know what i find funny

**franken:** ?

**keyblade master:** the fact that hayato and mukuro think i have no idea that they had a fistfight at takeshi’s place last night

**franken:** Oh yeah they’re not subtle at all

**buzz lightyear:** [Tsuna voice] oh no Mukuro!! where ever did you get that GIANT FIST SHAPED BRUISE ON YOUR CHEEK

**buzz lightyear:** hmmm it looks to be the same size as Hayato’s fist????

**keyblade master:** adsjfhfjhgdf

**keyblade master:** i’m gonna see how long it takes for them to notice

**zookeeper:** Those two really think you’re that oblivious

**zookeeper:** You should totally overreact to their shitty “we got JUMPED” story

**keyblade master:** why they thought that was believable i’ll never know

**keyblade master:** wait a sec

**keyblade master:** it was definitely takeshi’s fault

**zookeeper:** You’re probably right

**zookeeper:** Only he could come up with such a shit story like that one

 

“Dame-Tsuna,” Reborn said, making him jump. He fumbled with his phone and managed to catch it before it fell. He clutched it to his chest and smiled nervously in the face of Reborn’s disapproval. “Off your phone. Breakfast is ready.”

“Yes, yes,” Tsuna said. He left his phone on the counter and poked his head back into the living room. The pillow fort had been taken down, but the room itself was far from organized. Lambo and I-Pin were in the midst of attempting to smother Hayato with one of the pillows. “Guys! Breakfast! Stop fighting and eat!”

He narrowly avoided getting trampled by everyone scrambling into the kitchen.

 

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**leviOsa:** Tenth is being VERY INSISTENT on this fake robbery and it’s making me feel guilty

**thing 1:** endure it you weakling

**thing 2:** You look like you’re ready to scream, Mukuro-sama

**thing 1:** HE WANTS TO GO ON A MANHUNT

**the power of god and anime:** tsuna-nii just said he wants to make sure it doesnt happen again

**leviOsa:** I should just tell him the truth

**thing 1:** don’t do it

**thing 1:** he’ll give us the Look and then we’ll be eating out of his hands for the next week

**leviOsa:**

**leviOsa:** I’m going to tell him

**thing 1:** DON’T YOU DARE

**the power of god and anime:** wow mukuro-nii i didnt know u were a frozen fan

**thing 1:** had it not been for the laws of this land I’d have slaughtered thee

 

**keyblade master >> bird set free by sia**

**keyblade master:** [mistvstormfoodfight.jpg]

**keyblade master:** hayato’s coming for your role as mukuro’s rival

**keyblade master:** you should have stayed for breakfast kyoya

**keyblade master:** it would have been awesome seeing you nail mukuro with a plate of eggs

**bird set free by sia:** Too much crowding

**bird set free by sia:** I will

**bird set free by sia:** Come for lunch though

**bird set free by sia:** When everyone is gone

**keyblade master:** !!!

**keyblade master:** it’s a date!

 

**keyblade master >> Princess Tutu**

**keyblade master:** [ITSADATE.jpg]

**keyblade master:** KYOKO-CHAN HOW DO I UNSEND A MESSAGE

**Princess Tutu:** OH MY GOD

**Princess Tutu:** Step one suggest going out for lunch instead

**keyblade master:** you do that with haru and yet you claim they’re not dates

**Princess Tutu:** WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME HERE

**Princess Tutu:** Seriously though! Tsuna-kun you should suggest going out

**Princess Tutu:** Make it a real date!

**keyblade master:** aaaaAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**cake enthusiast:** [hessored.jpg]

**cake enthusiast:** all of us girls are staying to help clean up

**cake enthusiast:** (because SOME OF YOU are awful friends who ran the moment tsuna-san yelled you cowards)

**buzz lightyear:** self-preservation

**franken:** Stomach ache

**squalo version 2.0:** narrowly avoiding death itself

**thing 2:** That’s Skull-san’s job

 

**> >this is so sad alexa play bring me to life<<**

**shiniGAYmi:** someone is talking about me

**Black Canary:** No one is ever talking about you

**shiniGAYmi:** MEAN

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**cake enthusiast:** anyway my point is

**cake enthusiast:** does anyone know why tsuna-san is malfunctioning

**Princess Tutu:** Ooh that may be my fault ^^;

**franken:** What did you DO to him

**thing 2:** Is that why you were grinning at your phone earlier?

**Princess Tutu:** Best friends don’t share best friends’ secrets! Sorry!

**Princess Tutu:** At least not where Certain People who don’t understand Secrets can see

**squalo version 2.0:** ooo very sus

**cake enthusiast:** nobody says sus takeshi-san

**squalo version 2.0:** VERY SUS

 

**keyblade master:** this is why kyoko-chan is my favorite

**Princess Tutu:** Solidarity!

**Princess Tutu:** Love you Tsuna-kun ❤

**keyblade master:**  ❤

 

**Kusakabe Tetsuya >> keyblade master**

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** You wouldn’t happen to know why Kyo-san just broke a pen, do you?

**keyblade master:** ?? context???

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** He was looking at his phone and holding a pen in his hand and then he got irritated at something and broke it

**keyblade master:** no clue, sorry kusakabe-san!

**keyblade master:** btw i still think you should change your user

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** I will take that into consideration

**keyblade master:** no you won’t

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** That is correct

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** Thank you anyway, Sawada-kun

**keyblade master:** no problem!

 

**Kusakabe Tetsuya >> Princess Tutu**

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** What did you do

**Princess Tutu:** Public display of affection via group chat

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** Ah, that makes sense

**Kusakabe Tetsuya:** Please make them go on a date soon

**Princess Tutu:** I’M T R Y I N G

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** anyway @ hayato and mukuro do you remember the guys who tried to mug you

**thing 1:** I don’t care for insignificant cowards like them

**leviOsa:** Um, no Tenth, I don’t

**keyblade master:** that’s weird

**keyblade master:** you have such good memory hayato

**keyblade master:** and mukuro you’re not exactly one to let things go

**thing 1:** is this about the whole “trying to kill you” thing

**thing 1:** I thought you were over that

**keyblade master:** hm,

 

**franken:** Yamamoto I have a question

**squalo version 2.0:** yeeeeessss good friend who is very important to me?

**franken:** 1) That’s disturbing and I’ll find out what you broke in my lab

**squalo version 2.0:** shit

**franken:** 2) Is Squalo’s name on here “yamamoto version 1.0”

**squalo version 2.0:**

**squalo version 2.0:** give me two minutes

 

**squalo version 2.0 >> Garbage Boss**

**squalo version 2.0:** xanxus i have an idea

**Garbage Boss:** How the FUCK did you get my contact

**squalo version 2.0:** thats not important right now!!

**Garbage Boss:** IT WAS THAT FUCKING TRASH BOSS OF YOURS WASN’T IT

**Garbage Boss:** I KNEW I COULDN’T TRUST THAT PIECE OF SHIT

**squalo version 2.0:** xanxus!!!! pls

**Garbage Boss:** Fucking WHAT just TALK

**squalo version 2.0:** change squalos name to yamamoto version 1.0

**Garbage Boss:** That

**Garbage Boss:** That is a good fucking idea what the fuck

**Garbage Boss:** I’ll do that right now

**squalo version 2.0:** hell ye

 

**> >The Garbage Truck<<**

**_shark bait hoohaha_ ** _’s name has been changed to **Yamamoto Version 1.0**_

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** WHO CHANGED MY FUCKING NAME

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** I CAN’T CHANGE IT BACK

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** WAS THAT YOU YOU FUCKING SHITTY BOSS

**Garbage Boss:** Suffer

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** HOW ARE YOU KEEPING ME FROM CHANGING MY NAME

**Garbage Boss:** Wouldn’t you like to know

**dead meme:** does this mean i can change my name now

**let me see what you have:** shishishishishi no

**let me see what you have:** accept your fate pepe

**dead meme:** this is the worst name i have ever been given

**dead meme:** i bet decimo would change my name

**let me see what you have:** WELL DECIMO DOESN’T HAVE AN APPRECIATION FOR MEMES SO YOU CAN SHUT IT

 

**Yamamoto Version 1.0 >> squalo version 2.0**

**Yamamoto Version 1.0:** THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT ISN’T IT

**squalo version 2.0:** aksjhdfjkfhsjfdsjk

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** [itisdone.jpg]

**Princess Tutu:** I love it!

 

**OKOSAN:** TSUNA

**OKOSAN:** I HEARD FROM MY SISTER

**OKOSAN:** WELL I EAVESDROPPED ON MY SISTER

**keyblade master:** nononononONONONONO ONII-SAN

**OKOSAN:** I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOU

**keyblade master:** NO. STOP. DESIST. CEASE.

**OKOSAN:** I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE THE DAY

**OKOSAN:** THAT YOU

**_OKOSAN_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

**squalo version 2.0:** ohohohoho????

**squalo version 2.0:** whats this about tsuna~

**zookeeper:** ?

**zookeeper:** Oh wait is this about the Thing

**leviOsa:** What’s the “Thing”?

**keyblade master:** NOTHING IT’S NOTHING

 

**OKOSAN >> keyblade master**

**OKOSAN:** WHY DID YOU REMOVE ME TSUNA

**keyblade master:** onii-san please keep this a secret

**keyblade master:** it might not ACTUALLY be a date sooosdkfhdsfjhdk

**OKOSAN:** I SEE

**OKOSAN:** I WILL MAKE AN EXTREME EFFORT TO KEEP YOUR DATE A SECRET THEN

**OKOSAN:** BUT I DO THINK IT IS A DATE

**keyblade master:** hhh

**OKOSAN:** I WISH YOU LUCK AND I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU

**keyblade master:** thanks onii-san

 

**OKOSAN >> bird set free by sia**

**OKOSAN:** I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOU TOO KYOYA

**OKOSAN:** PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME ON READ

**OKOSAN:** GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE

**OKOSAN:** AND DO NOT FEAR

**OKOSAN:** I HAVE PROMISED TSUNA NOT TO TELL ANYONE

**bird set free by sia:**

**bird set free by sia:** Thank you, herbivore

**OKOSAN:** !!!!

**OKOSAN:** KYOYA!!!

**bird set free by sia:** Don’t push it

 

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** ryohei ryohei ryohei ryohei ryohei

**squalo version 2.0:** whats the big secret

**squalo version 2.0:** @OKOSAN

**OKOSAN:** MY EXTREME APOLOGIES TAKESHI BUT I CANNOT TELL YOU

**OKOSAN:** I DO NOT WISH TO BREAK THEIR TRUST IN ME

**squalo version 2.0:** SO ITS A THEY

**OKOSAN:** NO

 

**> >evil baby support group<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** tsuuunnaaaa ur so mean not telling ur bffs your secret

**keyblade master:** my best friend is kyoko-chan wym

**leviOsa:** That hurts Tenth

**squalo version 2.0:** tsuna pls we wont tell anyone else

**keyblade master:** why don’t you tell me what hayato and mukuro refuse to tell me

**squalo version 2.0:** hrg

**leviOsa:** Um

**keyblade master:** hm, that’s what i thought

**leviOsa:** I’M SORRY TENTH

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** hey does anyone remember if i ever officially came out to reborn

**zookeeper:** Oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did with the Varia? Hahahahahaha I'm not funny OTL
> 
> Garbage Boss - Xanxus  
> shark bait hoohaha/Yamamoto Version 1.0 - Squalo  
> dead meme - Fran  
> let me see what you have - Bel


	7. date??????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **zookeeper:** One time in first year this girl who didn’t go to middle school with us was planning on asking out Tsuna and Gokudera complained about it to Yamamoto who told Hibari who went to Chrome who convinced Mukuro to scare her off instead of stalk her like they were planning to until she was too terrified to actually go for it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *emerges from a cavern* hello this took almost exactly two months because writing is hard and I wrote this fic for when I had writer's block until I decided to put actual writing in this
> 
> So anyway take whatever this is! I don't know what this chapter is I just kind of did a word splat and called it gucci

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** no like seriously i can’t remember ever coming out to reborn

**leviOsa:** There’s no way he wouldn’t accept you

**Princess Tutu:** Yeah! You’re like a son to him!

**keyblade master:** no i know that

**keyblade master:** i’ve walked in on him way too many times to know that he’s not exactly straight either

**thing 1:** I’m still shocked that the first thing he did once he became an adult again was do That

**keyblade master:** ikr i didn’t think that guy was his type

**keyblade master:** anyway i just feel like the formality is necessary???

**keyblade master:** idkidkidk

**Princess Tutu:** I can at least say for certain that your mother has no clue

**keyblade master:** mom sees takeshi waxing poetic about anything and everything hayato does and calls it "close friendship"

**leviOsa:** IT IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP

**keyblade master:** [surejan.gif]

**keyblade master:** point is i should probably officially come out to him right

**zookeeper:** Well you don’t have to

**zookeeper:** You should only come out when you’re comfortable with it

**leviOsa:** If it’s what you want to do, then you should, but if you don’t want to, don’t

**Princess Tutu:** Exactly! We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do

**Princess Tutu:** Mukuro I know you’re there

**Princess Tutu:** You have to say something too

**thing 1:** ugh

**thing 1:** as much as I hate to be kind to you, they’re right

**thing 1:** coming out is purely your decision and no one else’s

**keyblade master:** awww thank you guys

**keyblade master:** i do want to come out to him and i’ve been putting off the conversation for a while now

**keyblade master:** maybe i should tell him before i leave

**zookeeper:** But then that gives him free reign to tease you

**keyblade master:** shit you’re right

**keyblade master:** wait no he’ll do that anyway regardless of when i tell him

**thing 1:** hmm??? where is it that you’re going exactly?????

**keyblade master:** idk why is it that you won’t let me look at your injuries

**thing 1:**

**keyblade master:** that’s what i thought

 

**Princess Tutu >> keyblade master**

**Princess Tutu:** So

**Princess Tutu:** Does this mean you admit that it’s a date

**keyblade master:** ghfjkghdslfgfhkjd

**keyblade master:** all i know is i really like kyoya and i want this to be a date

**Princess Tutu:** Well, I personally think he really likes you too

**keyblade master:** i know you’ve told me this a hundred times

**Princess Tutu:** Well, you have time to think about it and see how he acts

**Princess Tutu:** Maybe ask him before or after you grab lunch

**keyblade master:** yeah maybe

**Princess Tutu:** And remember, you don’t have to tell Reborn even if this is a date

**Princess Tutu:** You’re not even obligated to tell him when you start dating

**Princess Tutu:** It’s 100% up to you and when you’re most comfortable

**keyblade master:** thanks kyoko-chan

**Princess Tutu:** Yup! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**keyblade master:** ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**keyblade master:** i’ll figure out what i want to say to reborn eventually

 

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** alright guys lets commence Operation Find Out What Tsuna Is Hiding

**squalo version 2.0:** operation fowtih?????

**OKOSAN:** I SHALL EXTREMELY LEAVE THIS CHAT

**OKOSAN:** I REFUSE TO BE INVOLVED

**squalo version 2.0:** no!! ryohei!!!!

**_OKOSAN_ ** _has left the chat_

**squalo version 2.0:** ugh!!!

**leviOsa:** This is an incredible invasion of Tenth’s privacy

**thing 1:** why do we care

**thing 2:** Mukuro-sama, everyone knows that you’re curious too

**thing 1:** stop exposing me chrome dear

**the power of god and anime:** ryohei-nii told me to leave this chat too so i dont spoil anything

**the power of god and anime:** idk why cuz idk whats going on either

**squalo version 2.0:** thats a clue then!

**leviOsa:** Lambo lives with Tenth, so that means he’ll know something eventually…

**thing 1:** clue number 2 is that all the girls know

**leviOsa:** Well Tenth usually talks to Kyoko about things and he trusts her to tell the girls only when she thinks it’s okay

**squalo version 2.0:** what does tsuna talk to her about

**squalo version 2.0:** chrome???

**thing 2:** Please keep me out of this

**thing 1:** they’re annoyingly good at keeping their conversations secret so nobody knows what they talk about

**the power of god and anime:** ryohei-nii ratted you guys out to kyoko-nee

**the power of god and anime:** good luck

**_the power of god and anime_ ** _has added **Princess Tutu** to the chat_

**Princess Tutu:** （*＾＾*)

**Princess Tutu:** You all should quit while you’re ahead or bad things might happen to you

**Princess Tutu:** Hehe （*＾＾*)

**_Princess Tutu_ ** _has left the chat_

**squalo version 2.0:**

**thing 1:**

**leviOsa:**

**squalo version 2.0:** shes terrifying

 

**the power of god and anime:** oh

**the power of god and anime:** oh thats why ryohei-nii told me to leave the chat

**_the power of god and anime_ ** _has left the chat_

**squalo version 2.0:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

**> >oh sanity, we hardly knew ye<<**

**buzz lightyear:** i have a question

**buzz lightyear:** is Vongola ALWAYS like this

**buzz lightyear:** because Yamamoto just texted me asking if I knew what Tsuna was hiding

**franken:** Oh thank god it wasn’t just me

**keyblade master:** he did WHAT

**keyblade master:** why are my friends like this

**buzz lightyear:** yeah he’s really curious i guess

**franken:** It was weird

**zookeeper:** Vongola doesn’t exactly know what boundaries are

**zookeeper:** One time in first year this girl who didn’t go to middle school with us was planning on asking out Tsuna and Gokudera complained about it to Yamamoto who told Hibari who went to Chrome who convinced Mukuro to scare her off instead of stalk her like they were planning to until she was too terrified to actually go for it

**keyblade master:** wait what

**zookeeper:** Yup

**keyblade master:** i hate my friends

**franken:** Why is Vongola Like That

**keyblade master:** i don’t know but i hate it

**keyblade master:** i really have to go now if anyone texts me within the next two hours i’m setting you all on fire

**keyblade master:** wait

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** if i get any texts from you guys within the next two hours i’m setting all of you on fire

**leviOsa:** Tenth?

**keyblade master:** i’m putting you all on mute so pm me ONLY IF IT’S AN EMERGENCY

**keyblade master:** love you all but i gotta go

 

Because Kyoya was incapable of being a normal human being, he decided to climb in through the kitchen window instead of knocking on the door. Tsuna buried his face in his hands as Lambo screeched in surprise.

“Oh, it’s you, Kyoya-nii,” Lambo said once he was finished. Then his eyes widened. “ _Oh_.” He lunged for his phone on the counter and started tapping away at it. Tsuna eyed him oddly, then sighed and ignored him.

“Why don’t you ever just knock on the door?” he asked Kyoya, hands on his hips. Kyoya smirked.

“That’s for herbivores,” he said flippantly.

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Tsuna threw his hands in the air and shook his head. “Let’s go, okay? I’ll pay, so choose wherever you’d like to go.”

“I’m paying,” Kyoya said. In a rare show of affection, he ruffled Lambo’s hair as he passed him—making Lambo jump and look like he was about to have a heart attack—and headed to the door. Tsuna and Lambo stared at each other in shock, then Tsuna jogged after him. He must be in a good mood, he supposed. It wasn’t often that Kyoya showed anyone any affection, much less voluntarily touched them.

“I just said I’d pay!” Tsuna argued.

“No.”

“You-you can’t just—!”

“Yes I can. I’m paying. No arguments.”

“ _Kyoya_!”

 

Tsuna did not win the argument. Kyoya dragged him to some ramen place and somehow managed to wrestle his wallet away from him, so he was forced to let Kyoya pay.

(The fact that the smirk on his face when he won was totally hot was completely irrelevant)

“I’m surprised you agreed to go out with me, Kyoya,” Tsuna said as they waited for their food. He tried not to wince at the phrasing. ‘Go out’. Ugh.

“You asked,” Kyoya said like it was that simple.

“You usually say ‘no’ no matter what I ask,” Tsuna responded.

Kyoya gave him Look #12: Tone Down The Herbivore. “That’s because you always insist on _crowding_. I don’t _crowd_. This isn’t crowding.”

“That’s debatable.”

“If I say it’s not crowding, then it’s not crowding.”

“That… okay. Sure. How’s the Committee doing?”

What followed was a fifteen minute rant about the inherent uselessness of the entirety of their high school’s Disciplinary Committee (“These high school delinquents are _weak_ compared to the ones I picked up in middle school.”) followed by endless praise on Kusakabe’s organization abilities (“Tetsu is slowly but steadily teaching our new recruits to be less herbivorous.”) until the food came. Tsuna hadn’t even noticed that time had passed.

“So it sounds like the Committee is business as usual then,” he said and bit into his food. He smiled widely at the taste. “Ahh, this place never disappoints!”

Kyoya hummed and took a bit of his own food, then nodded. “It’s okay,” he said, which was pretty much a ringing endorsement. “The Committee needs to work harder. They’re _pathetic_.”

“You’re kind of a monster at fighting, Kyoya. You can’t hold them to your standards,” Tsuna said. Kyoya rolled his eyes.

Lunch continued on. It was nice to be able to go out without worrying about his Guardians causing a ruckus and, well, it was _Kyoya_. He loved his friends, but he rarely got many chances to spend a lot of time with him. Even Mukuro hung around more—though that was mostly because of Chrome and the fact that he didn’t have the same hang-ups over crowding that Kyoya did. It was nice to have a peaceful lunch with his most elusive (and attractive) Guardian.

Halfway through lunch, Tsuna snuck a look at the group chat to see how everyone was doing.

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**OKOSAN:** WHERES THE EXTREME WATER

**thing 1:** how did this even happen what the fuck

**Princess Tutu:** NEVER MIND THAT SOMEONE THROW OUT THOSE SHEETS

**the power of god and anime:** tsuna-nii is going to KILL USSSSSS

**squalo version 2.0:** I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR

**leviOsa:** STOP SCREAMING AND FUCKING HELP ME YOU IDIOTS

**OKOSAN:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**zookeeper:** Jesus Fucking Christ

 

Silently, Tsuna put his phone back into his pocket and looked up at Kyoya solemnly. “Our friends are idiots.”

Kyoya snorted.

 

Lunch ended too soon. Kyoya had a surprising amount to say, but when he got tired of speaking, he was still willing to listen. By the end of their meal, Tsuna was nowhere near finished with whatever tirade he was going on. Kyoya didn’t seem rushed to finish either. Instead of going their separate ways outside of the restaurant, they walked together. Tsuna didn’t notice until they were halfway to his house.

“Kyoya,” he said, pausing in the middle of his sentence, “you know you don’t have to walk me home.”

Kyoya shrugged. “I want to.”

Tsuna felt his face heat up and elected to ignore it. Kyoya looked amused as he cleared his throat and stammered back into his previous sentence.

They stopped outside of Tsuna’s house, which was suspiciously quiet. His Intuition wasn’t telling him that anyone was spying on them—other than possibly Reborn, but there was an equal chance that he was out doing Reborn things—so he felt reasonably safe asking, “Um, Kyoya. Was this, uh. C-can I classify this as a-a…” His throat worked against him for a few moments, not allowing him to speak. “A date?” The final word came out as a squeak and he immediately ducked his head so he wouldn’t have to look at Kyoya.

A second passed, and then Kyoya lifted his head with a finger. There was a rare smile on his face, so small it was almost invisible, but it was there and making Tsuna’s heart do very inconvenient things in his chest. “Yes,” he said. “This was a date.”

“U-um!” Tsuna was sure that his face must be bright red. Kyoya’s was far too close for comfort. “Does… does that make us, um… I mean!”

Kyoya huffed a laugh. “Boyfriends, yes. If you’d like,” he added belatedly.

“Yes! Yes I would!” Tsuna nodded emphatically, then felt his face flush further.

“Then we are.” With a nod and a smirk, Kyoya leaned forward and sealed their lips together in a kiss.

Tsuna was fairly certain he died in that moment.

 

**> >look, it’s the Pine Tree-o<<**

**_keyblade master_ ** _has changed the chat name to **2/3 pinethetic**_

**keyblade master:** step the fuck up you two

**keyblade master:** get on my level

**squalo version 2.0:** WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't......... know how to write dates ahkjsdfhds I've never been on one so???????? Confusion.
> 
> Anyway Tsuna's birthday was yesterday/two days ago/whatever time zone you're in and I'm debating whether or not to write a short, quick birthday chapter or to just keep going on with the somewhat linear timeline I've got going on here. Birthday chapter would be set in the future but you won't know what happens after this chapter's end until I post the next one. I guess comment if you think I should write a birthday chapter?
> 
> Also tell me who you ship Reborn with. Personally, I'm partial to Reborn/Skull for this fic, but if that's not your cup of tea, tell me what is! I'll go with majority vote and what's easiest for me to write, probably.


	8. fuckin superb you funky little gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **squalo version 2.0:** consider this instead: i move to the countryside and spend the rest of my days living a single life as a humble farmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just One Whole Mess. I didn't even know what I was writing like 98% of the time.

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ALL DO TO MY ROOM

 **keyblade master:** HOW DID YOU DO THIS

 **keyblade master:** IT MIGHT AS WELL BE FUCKING GONE

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh no hes swearing even though theres an impressionable young child in the chat

 **the power of god and anime:** hayato-nii swears worse than this on a daily basis what r u talking about

 **keyblade master:** SOMEONE ANSWER ME

 **Princess Tutu:** Hi Tsuna-kun! I see things went well!

 **keyblade master:** kyoko-chan

 **keyblade master:** don’t think you can just change the subject

 **keyblade master:** how am I supposed to explain this to mom

 **keyblade master:** there’s a giant hole in my wall again

 **keyblade master:** my bed is just gone

 **keyblade master:** wtf how did you guys get my ceiling so burnt?????

 **keyblade master:** my desk is just………tatters

 **keyblade master:** how is the house even standing

 **keyblade master:** why is it that only my school work is intact

 **keyblade master:** what. did. you. do

 **Princess Tutu:** Hahaha… Well you see

 **the power of god and anime:** IT WAS TAKESHI-NII’S FAULT

 **squalo version 2.0:** BETRAYAL

 **zookeeper:** So basically everyone went to your house and Yamamoto wanted to try and snoop but Gokudera and us girls told him not to but then Mukuro got involved and then Lambo got involved and you can guess what happened from there

 **squalo version 2.0:** SPEAKING OF THE TWO HOURS YOU WERE GONE

 **squalo version 2.0:** WHAT DO U MEAN “GET ON UR LEVEL”

 **keyblade master:** haha oh wow would you look at that i need to come up with a good explanation for what happened to my bedroom see you guys later

 **_keyblade master_ ** _has left the chat_

 **squalo version 2.0:** SUSPICIOUS

 

**> >2/3 pinethetic<<**

**squalo version 2.0:** TSUNA

 **squalo version 2.0:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **Princess Tutu:** Yeah Tsuna-kun you can’t just say that and disappear

 **keyblade master:** hhhhhhhfdsghfdjgfd

 **keyblade master:** so

 **keyblade master:** I

 **keyblade master:** ughhhh

 **keyblade master:** takeshi the reason i was gone was because i was going on a date with kyoya

 **squalo version 2.0:** !!!!!!!!!!!!

 **squalo version 2.0:** HOWD IT GO

 **keyblade master:** uhhhfdksjghfdjgkdjhfgkjdfnvkxj

 **keyblade master:** we’re dating now

 **keyblade master:** so yeah

 **Princess Tutu:** !! Congratulations!!!

 **squalo version 2.0:** AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **squalo version 2.0:** WE HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE RIGHT NOW

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**buzz lightyear:** @franken have you ever been so glad to not be Vongola

 **franken:** Speak for yourself

 **franken:** I have to deal with Byakuran-san and Spanner

 **buzz lightyear:** how’s that going by the way

 **franken:** I wanna die constantly

 **buzz lightyear:** i thought you liked Spanner

 **franken:** HE’S STILL AS INSANE AS THE REST OF YOU

 **buzz lightyear:** lol

 **buzz lightyear:** i bet one day you’re gonna come online and tell me that you’re actually dating one or both of them

 **franken:** Oh god no

 **franken:** I think Spanner’s aro anyway

 **buzz lightyear:** but you’re not sure

 **franken:** Why are you trying to play matchmaker

**buzz lightyear:**

**buzz lightyear:** i’m not

 **franken:** Right

 **Princess Tutu:** Why would you ever date Byakuran?

 **franken:** I thought you liked him now!

 **Princess Tutu:** I never said that

 **Princess Tutu:** I just tolerate him

 **zookeeper:** I can’t believe there’s actually someone who Kyoko doesn’t like

 **Princess Tutu:** I don’t like a lot of people! For example, Tsuna-kun’s bullies from middle school and some of Yamamoto-kun’s teammates

 **squalo version 2.0:** lol why do u hate my teammates

 **Princess Tutu:** Oh honey

 **squalo version 2.0:** ?????

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh anyway!!!

 **_squalo version 2.0_ ** _has added **keyblade master** to the chat_

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuna!!! TELL

 **squalo version 2.0:** telltelltelltelltelltelltell

 **keyblade master:** lol why don’t we talk about shouichi’s complicated love life instead

 **franken:** I DON’T HAVE A LOVE LIFE

 **Princess Tutu:** Come on Tsuna-kun

 **Princess Tutu:** Tell everyone what you just told us~

 **keyblade master:** first i would like everyone to know that kyoko-chan and takeshi are dead to me

 **thing 1:** that can be arranged

 **thing 2:** No Mukuro-sama

 **thing 1:** chrome dear please

 **keyblade master:** ugh ok so ANYWAY

 **keyblade master:** kyoya and i are dating

 **keyblade master:** you can all scream and collect your money now

 **buzz lightyear:** NICE JOB TSUNA

 **franken:** Congrats

 **zookeeper:** Fuckin superb you funky little gays

 **leviOsa:** WHAT

 **thing 1:** fuck who won the bet

 **thing 2:** Haru

 **cake enthusiast:** YESSSSSSSSSSS

 **cake enthusiast:** CONGRATULATIONS TSUNA-SAN AND HIBARI-SAN

 **cake enthusiast:** @everyone i’ll take my money tomorrow ^.^

 **thing 1:** how did you win what the fuck

 **cake enthusiast:** i’m amazing

 **leviOsa:** WAIT BUT

 **leviOsa:** WHAT

 **thing 1:** did you not know how gay those two are for each other

 **leviOsa:** NO

 **leviOsa:** SINCE FUCKING WHEN

 **keyblade master:** well i realized i liked him in first year

 **bird set free by sia:** The future

 **keyblade master:** THAT LONG???????

 **squalo version 2.0:** holy shit

 **Princess Tutu:** !!! Awww!!!!

 **squalo version 2.0:** so hayato just fainted

 **thing 1:** nice

 **thing 2:** I feel pretty bad about the fact that Boss isn’t even surprised that we bet on him…

 **keyblade master:** you forget that i’ve dealt with all of you for years now

 **keyblade master:** you pick up on these things

 **keyblade master:** also i’m in multiple betting chats that none of you have bothered to kick me out of except hayato one (1) time and he added me back after i sent him a sad face

 **thing 1:** weakling

 **squalo version 2.0:** k but no one can say no to tsunas sad face!!!

 **squalo version 2.0:** just look at this and tell me u wouldnt do whatever he asked u to

 **squalo version 2.0:** [puppytsunaUSESPARINGLY.jpg]

 **buzz lightyear:** why does that say “use sparingly”

 **squalo version 2.0:** reasons

 **thing 2:** It is a very compelling picture

 **keyblade master:** …why do you have that saved

 **squalo version 2.0:** i like to look at it and remember how much i love you

**keyblade master:**

**Princess Tutu:** Me

 **cake enthusiast:** big same!!

 **buzz lightyear:** mood

 

**THIS IS SPARTA >> keyblade master**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Yamamoto has asked me to tell you that I appreciate and love you.

 **keyblade master:** what the fuck

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Language.

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** i’d like to petition for some new friends

 **thing 1:** you’ve been trying that for years

 **keyblade master:** AND I’LL KEEP TRYING

 

 **OKOSAN:** I AM EXTREMELY LATE TO THE PARTY BUT CONGRATULATIONS TSUNA AND KYOYA

 **keyblade master:** thanks onii-san!

 **keyblade master:** i’m sure kyoya would say thank you to if he would stop lurking and actually say things every once in a while

 **OKOSAN:** HE WOULD NOT

 **keyblade master:** yeah you’re right he wouldn’t

 **bird set free by sia:** Yes

 **keyblade master:** HJSDGSHJDS

 

**> >2/3 pinethetic<<**

**keyblade master:** seriously though you two need to step up

 **keyblade master:** i honestly expected to be the last one to get my shit together

 **squalo version 2.0:** listen,

 **keyblade master:** come on takeshi you’ve been in love with hayato since middle school

 **keyblade master:** hayato is the same way

 **keyblade master:** he likes you takeshi

 **keyblade master:** confess

 **squalo version 2.0:** consider this instead: i move to the countryside and spend the rest of my days living a single life as a humble farmer

**keyblade master:**

**keyblade master:** and we were having a moment too…

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**franken:** So wait is this what the secrecy was all about

 **franken:** You just didn’t want everyone to know that you were going on a date?

 **franken:** Other than the girls I guess

 **keyblade master:** yup pretty much

 **franken:** Why?

 **keyblade master:** look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t understand

 **franken:** That’s literally impossible

 **franken:** …But yeah you’re right

 

**> >The Golden Trio (Criminal Edition)<<**

**leviOsa:** Are we really that untrustworthy, Tenth?

 **keyblade master:** what??

 **keyblade master:** no of course not!!

 **leviOsa:** Are you sure?

 **leviOsa:** You can tell us about your dates you know…

 **squalo version 2.0:** ^

 **squalo version 2.0:** yeah tsuna why didnt u tell us

 **keyblade master:** aaaa it’s not that i don’t trust you guys!!

 **keyblade master:** i’m sorry if it seemed that way it’s just

 **keyblade master:** hayato i know you wouldn’t have approved and would try to convince me otherwise

 **keyblade master:** and takeshi you’re not the most sensitive guy sometimes either

 **keyblade master:** i just wanted to go on a date without you two making a big deal over it

 **keyblade master:** i’m sorry

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuna!! dont apologize omg

 **squalo version 2.0:** were a little hurt but u dont have to apologize!

 **leviOsa:** He’s right

 **leviOsa:** We shouldn’t make you feel like you can’t tell us about these things

 **squalo version 2.0:** exactly!! we were all being idiots

 **leviOsa:** No surprise there

 **keyblade master:** <3 you’re right

 **keyblade master:** thank you

 **leviOsa:** But seriously

 **leviOsa:** HIM????

 **keyblade master:** hAYATO

 **squalo version 2.0:** ANYWAY

 **squalo version 2.0:** how about tomorrow us three all hang out

 **squalo version 2.0:** the golden trio!!!

 **keyblade master:** sure!

 **leviOsa:** Okay

 **squalo version 2.0:** WERE BACK BABY

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**zookeeper:** So now that all that relationship talk is out of the way

 **zookeeper:** I’m going to be a good friend (unlike some people) and help Tsuna figure out what to do about his nonexistent bedroom

 **zookeeper:** And no, Hibari, he will not be staying at your house for an indefinite amount of time while his bedroom gets fixed

 **bird set free by sia:** You don’t get to decide that

 **keyblade master:** hana!! we’re friends????

 **zookeeper:** Have you been thinking we’re not this whole time

 **keyblade master:** idk i kind of just assumed you’re only really here for the girls

 **zookeeper:** Monkey

 **zookeeper:** I’ll be at your house in five minutes

 **OKOSAN:** WHATS THIS ABOUT TSUNA STAYING AT HIBARIS HOUSE

 **zookeeper:** He’s not

 **bird set free by sia:** We’ll see about that

 **OKOSAN:** I LOVE YOU KYOYA BUT I AM EXTREMELY UNSURE IF THAT IS A WISE DECISION

 **bird set free by sia:** Nobody asked you

 **keyblade master:** i’m not staying with kyoya

 **bird set free by sia:** Fine

 **zookeeper:** Whipped

 **bird set free by sia:** I will bite you to death

 **zookeeper:** You can try

 **OKOSAN:** I DO NOT KNOW WHO WILL WIN THAT FIGHT BUT I DONT WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS

 **keyblade master:** yeahhhhh me neither

 

 **buzz lightyear:** so i was scrolling back up and i noticed something

 **buzz lightyear:** is Reborn-san dating someone?

 **franken:** Has anyone else noticed that Enma-kun is oddly invested in romance

 **buzz lightyear:** i am not!

 **franken:** [screenshot098.jpg]

 **franken:** [screenshot099.jpg]

 **franken:** Not only have you mentioned me and my nonexistent love life, but also tried to bother Tsuna about Hibari-san

 **franken:** And now Reborn-san

 **buzz lightyear:** i’m just curious!

 **buzz lightyear:** and i wish for the everlasting happiness of my friends  <3

 **franken:** Sounds fake but okay

 **Princess Tutu:** Reborn…

 **Princess Tutu:** Well, we think they’re dating but it’s kind of complicated

 **thing 1:** it’s weird

 **cake enthusiast:** i think it’s cute!!!!

 **thing 1:** it’s not cute

 **cake enthusiast:** yes! it! is!

 **buzz lightyear:** ????

 **Princess Tutu:** I think Tsuna would be able to explain it a lot better

 **Princess Tutu:** He was there when it happened

 **thing 1:** all eight of us were there and it still remains an awful experience in my head

 **thing 1:** I would like to burn out my eyes just thinking about it

 **buzz lightyear:** i think we’ve bothered Tsuna enough today…

 **buzz lightyear:** i’ll ask him when he’s not trying to fix whatever the hell you guys did

 **Princess Tutu:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY

 **franken:** HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY DESTROY HIS WHOLE ROOM???

 **Princess Tutu:** VERY BADLY THAT’S HOW

 

 **keyblade master:** okayyyy then

 **keyblade master:** so my mom will believe any bullshit explanation so i just told her one of hayato’s experiments went wrong which is basically the truth anyway

 **leviOsa:** I’M SO SORRY TENTH

 **keyblade master:** reborn called some vongola people to fix it bc ofc he did

 **keyblade master:** (btw i’m gonna come out to him sometime tonight jsyk)

 **keyblade master:** so now to talk about reborn’s

 **keyblade master:** ugh

 **keyblade master:** l o v e l i f e

 **keyblade master:** enma do i have to

 **buzz lightyear:** yes

 **keyblade master:** ugh

 **keyblade master:** ok just

 **_keyblade master_ ** _has added **shiniGAYmi**   to the chat_

 **shiniGAYmi:** THE GREAT AND WONDERFUL SKULL-SAMA HAS ARRIVED

 **shiniGAYmi:** whatcha need tsu-chan

 **keyblade master:** please stop calling me that

 **shiniGAYmi:** NEVER

 **keyblade master:** sigh

 **keyblade master:** i have a favor to ask

 **shiniGAYmi:** anything!

 **keyblade master:** explain the situation between you and reborn please

 **shiniGAYmi:** oh! well in that case!

 **_shiniGAYmi_ ** _has left the chat_

 **squalo version 2.0:** FJSJKDFGFD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like. I totally meant to answer comments, but then I finished this chapter and figured I might as well answer here:  
> Reborn/Skull wins! I have no idea how I'll be incorporating it into this fic since Tsuna refuses to allow Reborn to stay in the group chat, but it's there!  
> Also, someone asked if I would be adding any more couples. Honestly, I didn't have any plans (Enma teasing Shouichi here is just me trying to be funny) but if you guys want, feel free to comment any suggestions!


	9. kids should do their homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shiniGAYmi:** hey y’all wanna know something cursed
> 
>  **sparky sparky boom man:** Did you just say “y’all”
> 
>  **shiniGAYmi:** listen, i’m gay,

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**_leviOsa_ ** _’s name has been changed to **sparky sparky boom man**_

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Why

 **squalo version 2.0:** you needed a better name! and this one works!

**sparky sparky boom man:**

**keyblade master:** fitting

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth no!

 **keyblade master:** Tenth yes

 **keyblade master:** alright now that that’s done

 **_keyblade master_ ** _has added **shiniGAYmi** to the chat_

 **shiniGAYmi:** can’t this wait until tomorrow

 **buzz lightyear:** uhh no now i’m even more curious

 **shiniGAYmi:** UGGGHHHHH

 **shiniGAYmi:** don’t children have homework

 **keyblade master:** [maybeso.gif]

 **shiniGAYmi:** don’t you meme me!

 **shiniGAYmi:** why do you even want to know

 **shiniGAYmi:** i thought you said you were happier without the details

 **keyblade master:** i am

 **keyblade master:** but enma wants to know

 **shiniGAYmi:** hhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **shiniGAYmi:** ok the story’s kinda long and you children have homework

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Stop calling us children

 **shiniGAYmi:** c h i l d r e n

 **shiniGAYmi:** so i’ll cut you a deal

 **shiniGAYmi:** i will tell you everything BUT ONLY IF

 **shiniGAYmi:** u all do ur homework and don’t bother me about this until at LEAST noon tomorrow

 **shiniGAYmi:** i refuse to wake up before eleven and without my morning coffee and especially not for you little shits

 **buzz lightyear:** hmmmmmmmm is it worth it

 **squalo version 2.0:** DEAL

 **buzz lightyear:** o well then

 **shiniGAYmi:** pleasure doin business with ya

 **keyblade master:** n

 **keyblade master:** never do that again

 **shiniGAYmi:** yeah that was bad why did you let me do that

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Baseball idiot do you even know what our homework is

 **squalo version 2.0:** hahahahaha uhh

 **squalo version 2.0:** hey hayato do u wanna help me with my hw lol

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Oh my god

 **sparky sparky boom man:** I’ll be there in ten minutes

 

**keyblade master >> sparky sparky boom man**

**keyblade master:** takeshi’s house huh??

 **keyblade master:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **sparky sparky boom man:** TENTH PLEASE

 **keyblade master:** i didn’t say anything!!

 

**shiniGAYmi >> keyblade master**

**shiniGAYmi:** hey tsu-chan ur coming out to reborn tonight right???

 **shiniGAYmi:** good luck!!

 **keyblade master:** thanks skull but please stop calling me that

 **shiniGAYmi:** lol

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**thing 1:** if decimo has admin privileges to this chat why does he not just change the name himself

 **keyblade master:** shut your up fuck mukuro

 **keyblade master:** also i lost admin privileges when i left and kyoko-chan won’t give them back to me until i “absolutely need them” :(((((((

 **keyblade master:** anyway update on the coming out to reborn situation!!

 **keyblade master:** well ok so that’s really all i did i talked to him after dinner and came out to him

 **keyblade master:** after a lot of stammering over it mind you but w/e

 **keyblade master:** his response was just “dame-tsuna i already knew” but he ruffled my hair and kind of smiled so that was nice

 **Princess Tutu:** Awww

 **cake enthusiast:** how cute!!

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Good job Tenth!

 **squalo version 2.0:** YEAHHHHHH THATS OUR TSUNA

 **thing 1:** I commend you

 **cake enthusiast:** you’re so awkward mukuro-san

 **thing 1:** I have never once given you permission to use my first name

 **Princess Tutu:** It’s cute how you think she needs permission ^.^

 **keyblade master:** lol thanks guys

 **keyblade master:** he hasn’t said anything about me and kyoya tho so i’m. nervous

 **Princess Tutu:** He’s probably just biding his time

 **squalo version 2.0:** hes totally waiting for kyoya to sneak into your bedroom at night so he can catch you two and make fun of you for it

 **keyblade master:** oh god no

 

**keyblade master >> bird set free by sia**

**keyblade master:** you better not try to sneak into my bedroom at night

 **bird set free by sia:** What

 **bird set free by sia:** Tsunayoshi

 **bird set free by sia:** Did you just leave me on read?

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**shiniGAYmi:** [mylongestyeahboiever.jpg]

 **squalo version 2.0:** whoa!! skull knows memes!

 **squalo version 2.0:** hes actually cool!!!

 **shiniGAYmi:** I’VE ALWAYS BEEN COOL YOU LITTLE BRAT

 **squalo version 2.0:** lol

 **cake enthusiast:** well he is a millennial

 **shiniGAYmi:** exactly

 **thing 1:** bold of you to assume anyone who uses memes is cool

 **keyblade master:** mukuro

 **keyblade master:** [mreceipt012.jpg]

 **keyblade master:** our dms would like a word with you

 **squalo version 2.0:** HAHAHA CALLED OUT

 **thing 1:** fuck you kindly

 **keyblade master:** no thanks

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Does… does this mean Tenth has a “receipts” folder???

 **keyblade master:** i have multiple

 **keyblade master:** one for each of you

 **Princess Tutu:** How did you manage to make receipts folders for everyone?

 **zookeeper:** Yeah wth I only have receipts for you, Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Ryohei

 **cake enthusiast:** i don’t keep receipt folders but i do have some ~incriminating~ screenshots

 **keyblade master:** sometimes being a kindhearted boss leads to great things

 **thing 1:** “”””kindhearted””””

 **shiniGAYmi:** can confirm tsu-chan is occasionally the devil’s spawn

 **zookeeper:** Fitting, considering Reborn

 **keyblade master:** HE’S NOT MY DAD

 **shiniGAYmi:** lmao kid u literally call him dad sometimes

 **keyblade master:** IT WAS AN A C C I D E N T

 **keyblade master:** HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

 **shiniGAYmi:** reborn likes to call me and tell me about it and it’s super cute how he pretends he’s not touched

 **buzz lightyear:** wow can’t believe reborn/skull is #confirmed

 **shiniGAYmi:** sTOPSDFHDGKSDH

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Then stop enabling them

 **shiniGAYmi:** don’t tell me what to do brat

 **sparky sparky boom man:** You’re literally twelve

 **shiniGAYmi:** [gaygasp.jpg]

 **squalo version 2.0:** OOOHHHHHHHH SHIT

 **squalo version 2.0:** HAYATO IM SO PROUD OF YOU

 **sparky sparky boom man:** FUCK OFF

 **cake enthusiast:** actually how old are you skull-san

 **shiniGAYmi:** uhhhh

 **shiniGAYmi:** the curse made age a bit weird but i was eighteen when we got turned into babies

 **zookeeper:** Wtf you were practically a child

 **shiniGAYmi:** I KNOW RIGHT IT WAS SO FUCKED UP

 **shiniGAYmi:** lol i was also a civilian before kawahira kidnapped me and forced me into mafia life (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **keyblade master:** wtf

 **keyblade master:** give me like twenty minutes i know where he lives and now i’m gonna go punch him in the face again

 **squalo version 2.0:** GO TSUNA I SUPPORT YOU

 **buzz lightyear:** omg

 **shiniGAYmi:** WAIT NO TSUNA-CHAN

 **keyblade master:** well clearly reborn didn’t do it so i have to do it

 **shiniGAYmi:** HE’S LIKE LITERALLY AS OLD AS TIME YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE

 **keyblade master:** yeah but he kinda needs me so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth is such a good person

 **sparky sparky boom man:** And also badass

 **keyblade master:** thanks hayato!!

 **keyblade master:** brb

 **shiniGAYmi:** TSUNAAAAA

 **Princess Tutu:** You can’t stop him now Skull-san

 **Princess Tutu:** He’ll do anything for his friends

 **shiniGAYmi:** why is he,,,,,,, like this,,,,,,,,,,

 **zookeeper:** He’s an idiot who loves his friends too much

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth is the best

 **squalo version 2.0:** ^^ truth!

 **thing 1:** ehhhhhhhhh

 **franken:** Why do you still refuse to admit you like Tsuna?

 **thing 1:** because i don’t

 **zookeeper:** Sure Jan

 

 **sparky sparky boom man:** So we’re just keeping Skull-san in this chat

 **Princess Tutu:** Only until he finally talks

 **buzz lightyear:** you make it sound like we’re interrogating him

 **Princess Tutu:** Are we not?

 **buzz lightyear:** that’s fair please continue

 **shiniGAYmi:** hey y’all wanna know something cursed

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Did you just say “y’all”

 **shiniGAYmi:** listen, i’m gay,

 **squalo version 2.0:** VALID

 **shiniGAYmi:** anyway cursed thing y/n

 **sparky sparky boom man:** No

 **shiniGAYmi:** great! ok so

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Why

 **shiniGAYmi:** reborn pours the milk before the cereal

 **Princess Tutu:** Omg

 **squalo version 2.0:** [GAYGASP.jpg]

 **shiniGAYmi:** hey that’s my reaction image

 **thing 1:** he really does that

 **shiniGAYmi:** yEAH

 **shiniGAYmi:** I CAN’T EAT BREAKFAST WITH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE OF IT

 **_keyblade master_ ** _has added **THIS IS SPARTA** to the chat_

 **keyblade master:** what do you have to say for yourself

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Why would you pour cereal first?

 **shiniGAYmi:** dISGUSTING

 **_THIS IS SPARTA_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

 

**THIS IS SPARTA >> keyblade master**

**THIS IS SPARTA:** Why is Skull in your chat but not me?

 **keyblade master:** please leave me alone

 **THIS IS SPARTA:** Tsuna.

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** so anyway kawahira is officially cancelled and he now has a giant bruise on his face

 **keyblade master:** [punchkawahira2k18.jpg]

 **Princess Tutu:** Yay Tsuna!!

 **cake enthusiast:** nice job tsuna-san!!!

 **shiniGAYmi:** oh god you actually did it

 **keyblade master:** just doing the lord’s work!

 **thing 1:** you’re atheist

 **keyblade master:** and you live to ruin my life what about it

 **OKOSAN:** I EXTREMELY HATE TO INTERRUPT

 **OKOSAN:** WHY DOES REBORN POUR THE MILK FIRST

 **OKOSAN:** AND KYOYA WANTS ME TO REMIND YOU TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK

 **OKOSAN:** IT IS ALMOST MIDNIGHT

 **squalo version 2.0:** hahahaha…

 **keyblade master:** ugh right

 **keyblade master:** guess this is good night

 **Princess Tutu:** Night everybody!

 **cake enthusiast:** good night!!

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Looks like I’m staying the night

 **squalo version 2.0:** wow looks like it!

**keyblade master >> squalo version 2.0**

**keyblade master:** so

 **squalo version 2.0:** im d Y I ngfhdjkgsd

 **keyblade master:** lmao

 

**keyblade master >> sparky sparky boom man**

**keyblade master:** hayato? how are you

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Why did I say that

 **keyblade master:** lol awww

 

**> >this is so sad alexa play bring me to life<<**

**shiniGAYmi:** so i made an important discovery

 **Black Canary:** Oh god

 **shiniGAYmi:** vongola decimo and his friends are a fuckin RIOT

 **shiniGAYmi:** i love them so much and i will protect them with everything i have

 **original houdini:** so like

 **original houdini:** with a piece of toast and a miniature motorcycle

 **shiniGAYmi:** MAMMON P LS

 **Black Canary:** I can’t believe you woke me up for this bullshit

 **Black Canary:** I’m going back to sleep

 **Black Canary:** You both should too

 **shiniGAYmi:** lol what the fuck is this “sleep”

 **Black Canary:** Skull

 **shiniGAYmi:** ok ok i’m going

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** good morning everyone did you know coffee is a gift from the gods

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth…

 **sparky sparky boom man:** I love you but I already heard this eight times while we were walking to school

 **squalo version 2.0:** you truly are ur fathers son

 **keyblade master:** for the LAST TIME REBORN IS NOT MY DAD

 **buzz lightyear:** sounds fake but ok

 **franken:** I already used that joke yesterday we can’t ever use it again

 **franken:** Tsuna, I think everyone knows about your borderline addiction

 **keyblade master:** coffee is the only reason i get up in the morning

 **buzz lightyear:** not Hibari??

 **keyblade master:** eh

 **sparky sparky boom man:** What about us?

 **squalo version 2.0:** WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WEVE BEEN THRU

 **cake enthusiast:** and what about trust~

 **squalo version 2.0:** YOU KNOW I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOUUU

 **sparky sparky boom man:** I love seeing Tenth use Zero Point Breakthrough for justice

 **Princess Tutu:** Oh my god Tsuna you should probably let his hands out before he gets frostbite!

 **zookeeper:** And before anyone else notices dear god

 **zookeeper:** You guys suck at keeping secrets

 **keyblade master:** it’s too early for high school musical

 **cake enthusiast:** it is never too early for hsm!!!

 **keyblade master:** we’re not even AMERICAN

 **shiniGAYmi:** it's eight in the morning and you children need to SHUT UP

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Put us on mute

 

 **buzz lightyear:** @shiniGAYmi alright it’s noon time for some Answers

 **keyblade master:** oh we’re really doing this now

 **shiniGAYmi:** AREN’T YOU STILL IN SCHOOL

 **buzz lightyear:** yeah but i’m curious

 **shiniGAYmi:** pay attention to class you little gremlins

 **squalo version 2.0:** nooo i wanna hear the story too

 **squalo version 2.0:** i only know how it begins

 **keyblade master:** i would be perfectly content not hearing this again but class is boring

 **OKOSAN:** I AM EXTREMELY CURIOUS AS WELL

 **keyblade master:** oh hi onii-san

 **OKOSAN:** HELLO TSUNA

 **buzz lightyear:** lol so yeah you better start talking

 **shiniGAYmi:** you kids are awful and i hate you

 **keyblade master:** no you don’t

 **shiniGAYmi:** do you want the story or not

 **buzz lightyear:** YES

 **shiniGAYmi:** sigh

 **shiniGAYmi:** so here’s what’s going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After writing this chapter, I got My Own Way stuck in my head
> 
> And yes, the cliffhanger was totally necessary


	10. [thomas sanders voice] story time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shiniGAYmi:** i’m not exactly the type of person someone would normally flirt with
> 
> **squalo version 2.0:** but reborn
> 
> **shiniGAYmi:** when has reborn ever been normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,yeah idk what happens in this chapter either

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**shiniGAYmi:** actually ok so before i begin i have one question

**buzz lightyear:** why do you keep stalling

**shiniGAYmi:** just one question and then i promise i’ll tell the story

**keyblade master:** go ahead skull

**shiniGAYmi:** why the chat name

**shiniGAYmi:** like it’s a goddamn mood bc let’s face it tsuna-chan is adorable and should be protected

**keyblade master:** i will throw you off a cliff while you sleep

**shiniGAYmi:** but this is also the same kid who just punched an all-powerful immortal last night and didn’t get killed for it and also he wrestled an alligator and won once

**OKOSAN:** WHEN WAS THIS????

**OKOSAN:** I EXTREMELY WANT TO SEE THAT

**keyblade master:** sKULL YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL

**shiniGAYmi:** reborn dragged tsuna out and i happened to be there for some reason and witnessed it

**shiniGAYmi:** i didn’t think you guys had alligators in japan???

**sparky sparky boom man:** We don’t

**shiniGAYmi:** huh

**Princess Tutu:** The chat name is because we all love Tsuna and if anything were to happen to him we all would be fighting each other over who gets the first blow against who hurt him!!

**shiniGAYmi:** jesus CHRIST you’re terrifying i love you

**Princess Tutu:** Aww thank you!!

**Princess Tutu:** Sounds like you have a type :3c

**shiniGAYmi:** just for that face i take it back you’re awful and i hate you

**buzz lightyear:** STORY TIME

**shiniGAYmi:** FINE

**shiniGAYmi:** buckle up kiddos this is gonna be a fun ride

**sparky sparky boom man:** Stop calling us kiddos

**shiniGAYmi:** K I D D O S

**shiniGAYmi:** ahem anyway [thomas sanders voice] story time!

**sparky sparky boom man:** Who the fuck is Thomas Sanders?

**shiniGAYmi:** BLASPHEMY

**buzz lightyear:** we'll tell you later now shut up

**shiniGAYmi:**  anyway it all begins before the curse when we were just some random people thrown together by some dude who told us we were strong

**shiniGAYmi:** reborn was assigned to me to teach me all about the mafia bc i was uwu civilian and practically useless except for my disregard for doing death-defying stunts (which made me good bait but those first few months were terrifying)

**keyblade master:** did you just say uwu civilian

**shiniGAYmi:** please save your questions for the end

**shiniGAYmi:** so because reborn was spending a lot of time with me we just got to know each other there and it ended up some kind of weird not-enemies-not-friends relationship but we were more friends than enemies but more rivals than friends but not rivals because technically colonello and reborn are rivals???? it’s weird idk we didn’t hate each other but we weren’t exactly nice to each other

**shiniGAYmi:** if you can believe it reborn was even more of an asshole than he is now so he was legitimately awful and kind of abusive towards me for being weak and civilian

**shiniGAYmi:** and like usually i’m a pretty amicable guy you know but after dealing with that bullshit 24/7 and then lal and verde and colonello bashing on me whenever we met up too??? nah that shit wasn’t gonna last forever if i had anything to say about it

**shiniGAYmi:** i’m a CLOUD and i’m the STRONGEST CLOUD for a reason so i blew up at them, left them trapped in some room that i think i used my flames to create, and then i disappeared for like five months so i could train and gather my thoughts

**shiniGAYmi:** i was p out of it when i left so i don’t exactly remember what i did but yeah i think i trapped them

**shiniGAYmi:** so anyway i come back and their behavior is more teasing than hateful and VIPER of all people actually liked me so we became bffs even tho they’ll never admit it

**shiniGAYmi:** and reborn was nicer even though he still called me “lackey” and stuff

**shiniGAYmi:** it was honestly just slight respect which kinda sucks that i had to trap them in order for them to like me (as tho i didn’t nearly kill myself like every other day but w/e) but it was good enough

**shiniGAYmi:** then out of nowhere like a couple weeks after i came back he just kissed me and i was like “??? no???? you can’t just kiss me” and he was like “why not” and i was like “well for starters i’d like to not date a guy a few years older than me until i’m like actually twenty-one and second i know you only did that because you have some sort of danger kink and liked me blowing up at you way too much”

**keyblade master:** TMI?????

**shiniGAYmi:** you asked!

**keyblade master:** I VERY MUCH DID NOT ASK

**shiniGAYmi:** anyway

**shiniGAYmi:** i rejected reborn and you know how he is you don’t just reject THE reborn so he didn’t leave me the fuck alone until the curse happened

**shiniGAYmi:** he was kinda stalkerish and possessive and it was super weird

**shiniGAYmi:** like one time i was just flirting with a target and next thing i knew i was being dragged away and then a couple of people died including said target when we were supposed to be doing the job quietly

**squalo version 2.0:** u know how to flirt??

**shiniGAYmi:** and how’s your love life coming along takeshi-chan

**squalo version 2.0:** WHO TOLD YOU

**shiniGAYmi:** everyone knows hehe  >:3c

**sparky sparky boom man:** What?

**shiniGAYmi:** so when we turned into infants none of us were in great states so we all went our separate ways after a while and reborn couldn’t afford to keep close tabs on me anymore

**shiniGAYmi:** fast forward years and years and years later, reborn tutored tsuna-chan, the curse was broken, we were all aging slowly, and i completely forgot about reborn’s Thing about me

**shiniGAYmi:** well more like i expected him to not feel whatever he did for me back then

**shiniGAYmi:** i was less sure of how i felt about him by the time we were all beginning to age bc he loves tsu-chan a lot and changed because of that and it’s sooo cute tbh

**shiniGAYmi:** pretty soon we all reached our original ages and we decided, hey, party time and we invited vongola tenth gen bc y’all helped us and we’re super grateful

**shiniGAYmi:** reborn is like, the last to arrive so the party is in full swing but when he makes an entrance he Makes An Entrance

**shiniGAYmi:** the doors slammed open, everything went silent, reborn stalked in and started marching towards me and i was confused, the others were confused, tsuna-chan was terrified, and all i could do was think “wow i’m super gay” before reborn

**shiniGAYmi:** ugh

**shiniGAYmi:** i don’t want to say it but

**shiniGAYmi:** he

**Princess Tutu:** Take your time

**squalo version 2.0:** u can do it!!

**shiniGAYmi:** he. DIPPED me like some sort of maiden and just KISSED ME in front of EVERYONE

**sparky sparky boom man:** I want to burn out my eyes just thinking about it

**keyblade master:** mood

**shiniGAYmi:** this time cuz i’m not all caught up in our past and how he treated me i drag him off to have a Real Adult Discussion

**thing 2:** Oh

**thing 2:** I thought… oh

**thing 1:** you mean you really didn’t leave to fuck???

**shiniGAYmi:** NO????? JESUS H CHRIST CHILDREN

**shiniGAYmi:** it was for a CONVERSATION

**shiniGAYmi:** ANYWAY

**shiniGAYmi:** i told him that i wasn’t into him that way but i wouldn’t be opposed to trying out??? something but idk what that something would be

**shiniGAYmi:** either way he agreed and like i took this to mean we would like, call each other for personal reasons a bit more often but things would stay relatively the same since reborn had vongola stuff to do and i’ve been trying to get back into being a stuntman

**shiniGAYmi:** apparently REBORN took this to mean he had free reign to lowkey stalk me (AGAIN) and bother me with everything and occasionally kidnap me for what are probably reborn-levels of “romantic getaway” aka trying to escape death mountain on a monthly basis

**keyblade master:** is that where reborn has been going??? i thought he has stuff to do in italy since being an infant didn’t really help him with all his business

**shiniGAYmi:** well he does that too but sometimes he just finds me and kidnaps me

**shiniGAYmi:** so yeah

**shiniGAYmi:** that’s pretty much it

**shiniGAYmi:** i’m not sure what we are tbh

**shiniGAYmi:** sometimes he kisses me and sometimes he acts like i’m still just some kid and sometimes he gets super overbearing and sometimes we go on dates that end in disasters cuz reborn doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body and sometimes we’re arguing and that danger kink comes into play

**keyblade master:** please stop saying danger kink

**OKOSAN:** I WOULD EXTREMELY LIKE IT IF YOU DIDNT TELL US ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE

**shiniGAYmi:** but we haven’t defined who we are to each other

**shiniGAYmi:** like i know i like him but i’m just confused

**shiniGAYmi:** it’s just one whole clusterfuck

**buzz lightyear:** that was a disappointing story

**buzz lightyear:** i expected more chaos

**shiniGAYmi:** o you mean you wanted THOSE details

**keyblade master:** ughhhh enma-kun why

**keyblade master:** reborn snuck in TONGUE when he kissed skull at the party it was TRAUMATIZING

**shiniGAYmi:** LISTEN TSU-CHAN IT’S NOT MY FAULTSDFHJGDF

**keyblade master:** WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY HARD TO GET FOR LIKE TWENTY WHOLE YEARS THIS WOULDN’T BE AN ISSUE

**shiniGAYmi:** I WASN’T PLAYING HARD TO GET REBORN JUST WOULDN’T GIVE UP

**squalo version 2.0:** SO how bout those details

**keyblade master:** takeshi no

**squalo version 2.0:** takeshi yes

**shiniGAYmi:** ok so first of all reborn + planning dates = disaster

**shiniGAYmi:** one time he took me to an aquarium and forgot that the owner hated him for sleeping with his daughter and has him on a “shoot to kill” list if he resists which means that i can’t go to that really nice aquarium in spain anymore

**shiniGAYmi:** he tried to take me camping once and instead of beautiful forest nature it was DEAD BODIES because oh wait now i remember this is the place a few contacts suggested for hiding bodies

**shiniGAYmi:** sometimes when i don’t answer his texts he starts sending carrier pigeons which is REALLY INCONVENIENT because I HAVE A LEGITIMATE JOB NOW AND MY COWORKERS ARE VERY CURIOUS

**shiniGAYmi:** i swear to god back before we turned into infants he threatened some friends of mine into not flirting with me but like??? it was a joke reborn wth

**thing 1:** are you sure they were really joking

**shiniGAYmi:** i have purple hair and wear make up mukuro-chan

**shiniGAYmi:** i’m not exactly the type of person someone would normally flirt with

**squalo version 2.0:** but reborn

**shiniGAYmi:** when has reborn ever been normal

**keyblade master:** ^^^

**thing 2:** You’re plenty attractive Skull-san

**shiniGAYmi:** chrome-chan i would die for you

**thing 2:** Please don’t

**thing 1:** you will

**thing 2:** MUKURO-SAMA

**shiniGAYmi:** ok so story time over

**shiniGAYmi:** was that all

**buzz lightyear:** yeah that was it

**keyblade master:** fffhfdjhgfdjksfsjk

**shiniGAYmi:** ???

**squalo version 2.0:** hahdgfhjsdjhdf

**sparky sparky boom man:** It’s break at the moment and one of our classmates noticed that all three of us were on our phones rather than talking and she was very confused

**keyblade master:** cuz usually hayato and takeshi immediately start talking to me but we were busy with the gc and she thought we were all arguing or something

**squalo version 2.0:** she looked TERRIFIED

**Princess Tutu:** “What’s going to happen? If they’re all fighting, does that mean Gokudera-san is going to die? And what about Yamamoto-san? Oh my god neither of them can function without Sawada-san.”

**shiniGAYmi:** lmaooo did she just say that

**Princess Tutu:** Yes! She looks very worried

**Princess Tutu:** And so are her friends

**keyblade master:** omg did you tell them that we’re not fighting

**Princess Tutu:** Nah :)

**squalo version 2.0:** LOL WHAT IF WE JUST PRETENDED TO BE ARGUING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY

**franken:** Then you really wouldn’t function without Tsuna

**buzz lightyear:** lol call out

**sparky sparky boom man:** Untrue

**squalo version 2.0:** its a little bit true

**keyblade master:** um so like this is funny and all but

**keyblade master:** did you all know that we have a math test today

**Princess Tutu:** Yes?? Did you not know???

**Princess Tutu:** Tsuna

**keyblade master:** hahahahaha uhhhhh

**shiniGAYmi:** mood

**sparky sparky boom man:** You don’t even go to school

**shiniGAYmi:** bold of u to assume i didn’t drop out of school because of math

**keyblade master:** you dropped out of school because you wanted to join the circus don’t lie i know about your near perfect gpa

**shiniGAYmi:** WHO TOLD YOU THAT

**keyblade master:** reborn

**shiniGAYmi:** that bitch

**squalo version 2.0:** does that mean hes getting the couch tonight

**shiniGAYmi:** YES

**shiniGAYmi:** I MEAN

**shiniGAYmi:** WE DON’T EVEN LIVE TOGETHER

**Princess Tutu:** But what about when Reborn isn’t staying with Tsuna-kun?

**shiniGAYmi:** ,,,,listen kid,

**shiniGAYmi:** wait a sec don’t you have a math test right now

**Princess Tutu:** Oh! Right, that’s a thing

**Princess Tutu:** We’ll continue this conversation later then!

**shiniGAYmi:** that’s what you think

**_shiniGAYmi_ ** _has left the chat_

 

**keyblade master:** I HATE MATH SO MUCH

**squalo version 2.0:** but,,,,,, u were like the third person to finish

**keyblade master:** I PROBABLY FAILED

**sparky sparky boom man:** You seemed to know what you were doing though

**keyblade master:** DO YOU THINK I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I FOUGHT BERMUDA????

**keyblade master:** MY LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF INTERNAL SCREAMING AS I MAKE BAD CHOICES

**squalo version 2.0:** i have full faith in u tsuna!!

**sparky sparky boom man:** Me too Tenth!

**sparky sparky boom man:** And Reborn has been teaching you a lot, so I’m sure you did well!

**keyblade master:** ta k eshi,,,,,, ha yat o,,,,,,,, i love you both so much,,,,,,,,,,,,

**squalo version 2.0:** !! we love you too tsuna!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

**sparky sparky boom man:** We love you too

**Princess Tutu:** You’re all SO CUTE AWWWW

**squalo version 2.0:** lol our chat is just us throwing ilu at each other

**keyblade master:** don’t lie takeshi

**squalo version 2.0:** IM NOT I HAVE PROOF

**squalo version 2.0:** [appreciatehayatohour4.jpg]

**sparky sparky boom man:** DSFGDSJFHF WGATS THT FILE TITLEGUDKJF

**Princess Tutu:** Omg is Gokudera-kun broken?

**keyblade master:** i think so

**squalo version 2.0:** its appreciate hayato hour!! the fourth edition  >:3

**keyblade master:** hayato deserves so much appreciation

**sparky sparky boom man:** FDSHJFDG TENTHKSDJF

**thing 1:** [iamdisgusted.gif]

**keyblade master:** get out

**thing 1:** gladly

 

**sparky sparky boom man:** Is this allowed?

**Princess Tutu:** Technically, Hibari-san can do whatever he wants

**Princess Tutu:** Everyone is just going to assume that Tsuna-kun’s gonna be bitten to death

**squalo version 2.0:** wheres my boyfriend to drag me out of class so i can serve as a makeshift pillow while he sleeps and i can admire his beautiful face

**zookeeper:** Gay

**cake enthusiast:** big mood!

**squalo version 2.0:** yup! im a lonely single gay boy someone pls date me

**sparky sparky boom man:** I’m pretty sure if you asked out any random guy in any sports clubs, he’ll say yes

**squalo version 2.0:** bUT I DONT WANT SOME RANDOM GUY FROM A SPORTS CLUB

**sparky sparky boom man:** Then who do you want?

**squalo version 2.0:**

**squalo version 2.0:** well would u look at that gotta blast!

**sparky sparky boom man:** ???

**cake enthusiast:** huh. déjà vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are there so many bnha chat fics and why do they all have discord servers
> 
> Also! Tsuna's birthday was like a month ago but should I write a birthday chapter for him anyway?


	11. banned from willy wonka's factory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **> >2/3 pinethetic<<**
> 
> **keyblade master:** cOUGH COUGH COUGH
> 
>  **Princess Tutu:** Do you have something in your throat Tsuna-kun? :)
> 
>  **keyblade master:** words of love and devotion for my boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I completely forgot about this fic. Uh, oops?
> 
> And happy New Years everyone! Remember: if 2019 refuses to be nice to you, kick it in the ass and shove your aggressively spiteful happiness down its throat

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**keyblade master:** *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAA

 **keyblade master:** [hessopretty.jpg] [ihatehim.jpg] [thisisillegal.jpg]

 **keyblade master:** is he trying to give me a heart attack

 **keyblade master:** i’m about to cry he’s so pretty

 **keyblade master:** i can’t believe this is my boyfriend

 **keyblade master:** also his hair is so soft like WHAT

 **keyblade master:** i can’t believe i’m dating this

 **keyblade master:** i’m,,,,,,, so Blessedt™,,,,,,,,,,,

 **franken:** Umm…

 **franken:** Tsuna?

**keyblade master:**

**keyblade master:** FUCK WRONG CHAT

 **squalo version 2.0:** FKDSJHDKFJHSD

 **squalo version 2.0:** OMG TSUNA

 **Princess Tutu:** Oh my!

 **thing 1:** gross

 **thing 2:** I think that was cute

 **thing 1:** of course you do

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth, I support your relationship, but I don’t want to know the details

 **keyblade master:** yEAH I WASN’T PLANNING ON TELLING YOU THE DETAILS EITHER

 **squalo version 2.0:** i wanna know the details

 **keyblade master:** no

 **squalo version 2.0:** :’(

 **zookeeper:** How did you fuck up this badly?

 **keyblade master:** listen,,,, kyoya is Very distracting

 **zookeeper:** Gay

 **keyblade master:** yes

 **thing 1:** you’re going to die when he wakes up

 **keyblade master:** yup

 **keyblade master:** pls step on me kyoya

 **thing 1:** and that’s my cue to leave

 **_thing 1_ ** _has left the chat_

 **_Princess Tutu_ ** _has added **thing 1** to the chat_

 **Princess Tutu:** Nice try Rokudo-kun :)

 **thing 1:** god damn you

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth please never say that again

 **keyblade master:** eheh…

 **squalo version 2.0:** ok but tsuna that was a Mood

 **cake enthusiast:** ^

 **zookeeper:** We get it, you two are gay for people who can punch you in the face and send you flying

 **cake enthusiast:** correct!!

 

**> >2/3 pinethetic<<**

**keyblade master:** cOUGH COUGH COUGH

 **Princess Tutu:** Do you have something in your throat Tsuna-kun? :)

 **keyblade master:** words of love and devotion for my boyfriend

 **keyblade master:** so. kyoko-chan. you’re a girl who can punch people and send them flying

 **squalo version 2.0:** i feel a sense of spiritual understanding with haru

 **Princess Tutu:** This means nothing!

 **keyblade master:** please date her already

 **Princess Tutu:** I Cannot

 **keyblade master:** kyoko-chan

 **Princess Tutu:** Tsuna-kun

 **squalo version 2.0:** [sipsdrink.gif]

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**the power of god and anime:** Can someone help us

 **keyblade master:** lambo why do you have your phone

 **keyblade master:** you’re not supposed to have your phone while you’re at school

 **the power of god and anime:** Oh sorry Tsuna-nii, this is Fuuta. Lambo, I-Pin, and I are… Well, we’re kind of lost…

 **cake enthusiast:** ?? Fuuta-chan you’re supposed to be in school too

 **the power of god and anime:** …

 **the power of god and anime:** Lambo and I-Pin skipped school and kidnapped me somewhere and now I don’t know where we are

 **the power of god and anime:** Actually we’re in a candy store but it’s an oddly large candy store and I’ve never been here before but apparently it just opened up

 **franken:** Why do you need help?

 **Princess Tutu:** How do you have Lambo-chan’s phone?

 **the power of god and anime:** I took it from the house because I knew this would happen

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Still not seeing the problem

 **the power of god and anime:** Oh right. I lost Lambo and I-Pin

 **keyblade master:** WHAT

 **the power of god and anime:** I’m sorry Tsuna-nii! I looked away for two seconds and they were gone!

 **keyblade master:** Oh my god someone find this candy store before they get banned

 **franken:** Already on it Tsuna

 **Princess Tutu:** Do you remember what the store is called?

 **the power of god and anime:** No…

 **sparky sparky boom man:** What do you see?

 **the power of god and anime:** Umm lots of chocolate

 **the power of god and anime:** I’m in the chocolate aisle and I don’t think there’s any sign of this aisle ending

 **the power of god and anime:** Is Mukuro-nii here? I’m not convinced he doesn’t have something to do with this

 **buzz lightyear:** [mukuroinclass.jpg]

 **buzz lightyear:** this could be an illusion but as far as i can tell

 **the power of god and anime:** Well, uh…

 **the power of god and anime:** [endlesschocolateaisle.jpg]

 **squalo version 2.0:** thats a lot of chocolate

 **the power of god and anime:** Oh god I just heard something explode please hurry

 **franken:** Found it!

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Send me the coordinates. I’ll get them

 **squalo version 2.0:** ill come too!

 **keyblade master:** me too let me just wake up kyoya

 **squalo version 2.0:** tsuna!!! no!!!! D: <

 **keyblade master:** ?

 **squalo version 2.0:** spend time with ur boyfriend!!!!

 **Princess Tutu:** He’s right, let them handle it

 **Princess Tutu:** You can trust them!

**Princess Tutu:**

**Princess Tutu:** Actually maybe someone should go with them

 **Princess Tutu:** But that doesn’t mean you have to leave Hibari-san!

 **keyblade master:** are you sure?

 **squalo version 2.0:** yes!!!!!

 **Princess Tutu:** Yes!

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Hold on, what do you mean you think someone should go with us?

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Grabbing those kids will be a piece of cake!

 **zookeeper:** ……………

 **zookeeper:** No worries Kyoko, I’ll go and I’ll probably do a better job at reigning them in than Sawada ever does

 **keyblade master:** hey!

 **keyblade master:** i mean you’re right but hey!!!

 **the power of god and anime:** Thanks Hana-nee-chan! And Hayato-nii and Takeshi-nii!

 **squalo version 2.0:** no problem kid! we’ll be there soon!

 **Princess Tutu:** Omg I can’t believe they actually just walked right out of class while the teacher was still talking

 **keyblade master:** i already regret this

 

 **keyblade master:** uh are they back yet

 **keyblade master:** kyoya’s awake now (hasn’t looked at his phone yet thank god) but he still has a headache so I’m grabbing some meds from the nurse

 **keyblade master:** the actual nurse and not shamal i think he’s still in the bahamas???

 **zookeeper:** Sawada I have never been so glad to not be you

 **zookeeper:** Also there are damages you have to pay for

 **keyblade master:** WHAT DID THEY DO

 **squalo version 2.0:** that place was like willy wonkas factory!!

 **the power of god and anime:** TSUNA-NII IT WAS SO COOL I-PIN AND I MELTED SOME GRAPE CANDY AND MADE A SLIP N SLIDE IN THE LOLLIPOP AISLE

 **squalo version 2.0:** and lambo has his phone back!

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth I am so SO sorry

 **zookeeper:** So we’re all banned but any of you guys can still go

 **zookeeper:** Fuuta didn’t do anything but Lambo accidentally fried a few shelves and I-Pin got startled and broke an employee’s arm

 **zookeeper:** Gokudera punched the manager in the stomach and then kneed him in the face and Yamamoto egged him on

 **zookeeper:** And then Gokudera got flustered because Yamamoto made some comment about him being hot or something and made a dent in the wall with his body

 **keyblade master:** YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I CAN DO WITHOUT THE REST OF THE EXPLANATION

 **keyblade master:** TAKESHI ARE YOU OKAY???

 **squalo version 2.0:** im fine!! my flames kept me from getting hurt

 **keyblade master:** oh thank god

 

**sparky sparky boom man >> squalo version 2.0**

**sparky sparky boom man:**

**sparky sparky boom man:** Sorry again

 **squalo version 2.0:** its really fine hayato!! dont worry abt me

 **squalo version 2.0:** i know you didnt mean to knock me back ;*

 **sparky sparky boom man:** ?

 

**keyblade master >> squalo version 2.0**

**keyblade master:** so does that mean you’re just super gay right now

 **squalo version 2.0:** FUCK yes

 

**> >Sawada Tsunayoshi Protection Squad<<**

**zookeeper:** So yeah I called your house and your mom said she’ll watch the kids

 **keyblade master:** i hope so

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth, if you need me to, I’ll stay at your house and keep them out of trouble until you return!

 **keyblade master:** no hayato just go to class

 **keyblade master:** i trust fuuta to keep an eye on them

 **keyblade master:** when they’re not dragging him out of school anyway

 **keyblade master:** oh hang on a sec

 **cake enthusiast:** well! i guess that’s a mission accomplished!

 **cake enthusiast:** i’m sad i couldn’t go :(((

 **zookeeper:** Haru I love you but you would have let them do whatever they wanted

 **cake enthusiast:** they’re kids!! let them have fun hana-chan!

 **the power of god and anime:** YEAH LISTEN TO HARU-NEE

 **zookeeper:** Get off your phone you brat

 **cake enthusiast:** don’t call him a brat!

 **zookeeper:** Haru

 **cake enthusiast:** sorry hana-chan…

 **buzz lightyear:** hey guys i just ran into Tsuna in the hallways so i’m liveblogging what’s happening right now

 **cake enthusiast:** ???

 **zookeeper:** Why

 **squalo version 2.0:** ooooo sounds fun!

 **buzz lightyear:** he’s talking to some disciplinary guy

 **buzz lightyear:** i don’t recognize him so he must be new

 **zookeeper:** You can tell those guys apart?

 **buzz lightyear:** Tsuna’s my best friend so yes

 **buzz lightyear:** ok so disciplinary guy is asking what Tsuna’s doing out of class

 **squalo version 2.0:** oh boy he doesnt knowfjhdgjfhgd

 **buzz lightyear:** Tsuna is saying “kyoya asked me to do something for him” and the other guy is like “?? who tf is kyoya” and Tsuna looks offended omg

 **buzz lightyear:** [offendedfortheboyf.jpg]

 **buzz lightyear:** the guy is scolding him now but Tsuna just looks more and more irritated

 **buzz lightyear:** “can i go now? or do you want kyoya to be even bitchier than usual” oh my god he went there

 **buzz lightyear:** disciplinary guy is scandalized and has started going off about respect and the might of the committee and he’ll get what’s coming to him

 **buzz lightyear:** if this keeps up Tsuna’s probably just gonna kick him and run

 **buzz lightyear:** oh wait there’s a committee member who went to middle school with us

 **buzz lightyear:** “do you know who this is, Hirosaki? THIS is Sawada Tsunayoshi and he’s the only one the boss will listen to. you WILL treat him with the utmost respect, got it?”

 **buzz lightyear:** i’m in tears trying to hold back my laughter the guy looks so scared now

 **buzz lightyear:** [ididntknowpplcanbowsolow.jpg]

 **cake enthusiast:** is he bowing really fast

 **buzz lightyear:** lol yeah

 **cake enthusiast:** omgggg

 **zookeeper:** Amazing

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Tenth should be treated with respect regardless

 **buzz lightyear:** ok but nobody else knows that

 **squalo version 2.0:** lol hey whats that committee members full name

**buzz lightyear:**

**buzz lightyear:** why do you want to know

 **squalo version 2.0:** curiosity!! ^^

 **keyblade master:** STOP TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T TREAT ME NICELY

 **squalo version 2.0:** aww but tsuna

 **keyblade master:** NO

 **keyblade master:** enma why did you choose to liveblog instead of just saying hi

 **buzz lightyear:** i thought everyone would have liked to know

 

**> >FIGHT CLUB<<**

**bird set free by sia:** His full name is Hirosaki Shunsuke

 **bird set free by sia:** I will deal with him myself

 **squalo version 2.0:** aww cmon kyoya at least let me help

 **bird set free by sia:** No.

 **bird set free by sia:** As a member of my Committee, he is my responsibility

 **bird set free by sia:** And unfortunately, I cannot risk you killing him

 **squalo version 2.0:** d i s a p p o i n t i n g

 **sparky sparky boom man:** Have you been reading the chat without saying anything?

 **bird set free by sia:** I don’t answer to herbivores

 **thing 1:** that’s a yes

 **bird set free by sia:** You shall be bitten to death

 **thing 1:** can you even move with that headache

 **squalo version 2.0:** will he even want to move while he has Nurse Tsuna lol

 **bird set free by sia:** Shut it.

 

**> >Girl Gang!! (+ Tsuna)<<**

**keyblade master:** this is the right chat right

 **keyblade master:** [usingmeasapillow.jpg]

 **keyblade master:** i’m dYING

 **Princess Tutu:** You boys! are killing me!

 **thing 2:** You two are very cute Boss ^.^

 **keyblade master:** chrome ur so sweet i love you

 **thing 2:** >//<

 **Princess Tutu:** What about me Tsuna-kun??

 **keyblade master:** perish

 **Princess Tutu:** [gaygasp.jpg]

 

**> >this is so sad alexa play bring me to life<<**

**shiniGAYmi:** someone is using my meme

 **original houdini:** get back to work skull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what happened in this chapter but I hope the gay made you happy. It certainly made me happy.
> 
> And even though it's New Years I'll probably end up posting a birthday chapter tbh. And possibly a New Years chapter??? But only because that's Prime opportunity for some Gay Shit


End file.
